Ilona Andrews Quotes
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Ilona Andrews is the pen name of Ilona Gordon and Andrew Gordon, an American husband-and-wife duo who write urban fantasy and romantic fiction together. Wikipedia

Ilona Andrews: 428 quotes9 likes

Ilona Andrews Quotes

“This was hell and I was its fury.”

Source: Magic Burns

“The phone rang. I picked it up. "Kate Daniels"

"It's me," Curran said. "I—"

I hung up.”

Source: Magic Bleeds

“Perhaps I just wasn't scary enough. Maybe I should invest in some horns or fangs.”

Source: Magic Burns

“Where is Barbie?"
The female shifter snickered and choked it off.
"Is there a stripper pole?”

Source: Magic Bleeds

“And how did your day go?" I asked Ascanio.
He turned to me, a dreamy look on his pretty face. "We killed things. There was blood. Fountains of blood. And then we had barbecue.”

Source: Magic Gifts

“The monster licked his lips, long lines of whiskers twitching, and spoke in a deep growl. "Pretty, aren't I?" Curran. In midform. I broke from his gaze. "Adorable.”

Source: Magic Bites

“What is wrong with you?
Many, many things.”

Source: Magic Slays

“I had an appointment with a sexual deviant and I didn’t want to be late.”

Source: Magic Bleeds

“Jealous of the actors now, are we?"
"What, of some fancy boy on the screen? Inconceivable."
Oh, this was going to be good.”

Source: Magic Slays

“I had to give it him, to flatter and insult a woman in one propostition took talent.”

Source: Magic Burns

“What the hell is this?” Desandra asked
“This is Cuddles. She's a mammoth donkey.”
Derek grinned, leaning on the fence. “Do you have any self-respect left?”
“Nope.”

Source: Magic Breaks

“It was the kind of sword that would make a lifelong pacifist look for tall boots and a hat with feathers.”

Source: Magic Bleeds

“I want to punish them. I want that punishment to be so hard, so vicious that the next who takes their place wets himself at the mere thought of trying to fight me.”

Source: Magic Burns

“Rene, you want us to find you-don't-know-who and to retrieve his you-don't-know-what for you-won't-tell-me-whom?”

Source: Magic Slays

“The knocking persisted. It wasn't Derek. His knock would be careful, almost apologetic. This bastard knocked like he was doing me a favor.”

Source: Magic Bites

“First rule of bodyguard detail: know where your 'body' is at all times.”

Source: Magic Burns

“One school of thought says that the best way to handle an issue like this is exposure therapy," Mad Rogan said. "For example, if you're terrified of snakes, repeated handling of them will cure it."
Aha. "I'm not handling your snake.”

Source: Burn for Me

“And did you have to hack his arms off?” “Yes, I did. He wouldn’t go through the door.”
“You say it like you’re proud of it."
I was proud of it. It was an example of quick thinking in a difficult situation.”

Source: Magic Strikes

“My investigative technique mostly consisted of going through the list of interested parties and making as much noise as possible, until the culprit lost his patience and tried to shut me up.”

Source: Magic Slays

“Your date appears to be hysterical," Rene told me.
"You think I should slap some man into him?”

Source: Magic Strikes

“Oh. "So the best way to fight you is to strip naked and attack?"
His eyes flashed with a wicked light. "Yes. You should try it and see what happens.”

Source: Burn for Me

“No, you’re not going with him.”
I crossed my arms. “Who decided that?”
He put on his “I’m alpha and I’m putting my foot down” expression. “I decided.”

Source: Magic Burns

“Who is that?”
“Your replacement.”
“You replaced me with a shaved poodle?”
“He's got mad skills.”

Source: Magic Bleeds

“Sh! t. F_ck sh! t.'….

'Sh! t f_ck would have also been accepted.”

Source: Magic Strikes

“On the plus side, if he ever had to fight through a roomful of adolescent girls, he only needed to blink (his velvet brown eyes framed in embarassingly long lashes) a few times, and they would all faint.”

Source: Magic Burns

“The woman frowned. "I probably should have mentioned that annoying habit of letting people come to the wrong conclusions and not correcting them? He got it from me.”

Source: On the Edge

“« Barabas pulled Christopher out of the cage. The man stared up at him. “I died, didn’t I? Are you an angel?”
“Sure,” Barabas said. “Follow me to the Heavenly Shower »”

Source: Magic Rises

“It’s never a good thing when the black volhv says “Uh-oh” and then runs for his life.”

Source: Gunmetal Magic

“Your headlights don't scare me.”

Source: Magic Bleeds

“What’s this ”
“A needle.”
“What should I do with it ” He’d walked right into it. Too easy.
“Please use it to pop your head. It’s obscuring my view of the room.”

Source: Magic Bleeds

“Just to make sure the odd humanoid aberration doesn't get away, always pin it through the nuts.”

Source: Magic Burns

“I paused with the pen in my hand. "He burst into flames?"
"He became engulfed in fire."
"Was his buddy made out of orange rocks and at any point yell, 'It's clobbering time'?”

Source: Magic Bleeds

“." And now, you are forever mine.”

Source: Magic Bites

“Aha," Andrea said. "I'm going to ignore that you just referred to yourself as 'sugar woogums'.”

Source: Magic Slays

“Oh my God, she was retarded and I was going to kill Jim.”

“He referred to you as his little snack."
"He's a sweetie.”

Source: Magic Bites

“Maybe I should add some graffiti to spice it up. For a good time call the Consort. Beast Lord eats your food and turns into a lion in his sleep. Mahon has hemorrhoids. Boudas do it better. Warning, paranoid attack jaguar on the prowl…”

Source: Magic Breaks

“We don't need teenage bouda sex fiends as interns.
How do you know he is a sex fiend?
He is fifteen and he's a bouda. Hello?”

Source: Magic Slays

“You see, the mailman saw your husband during one of his walks."
"He's my fiancé," I told her. "We are living in sin."
Heather blinked, momentarily knocked off her stride, but recovered. "Oh, that's nice."
"It's very nice. I highly recommend it.”

Source: Magic Shifts

“Some men got excited by white lace and a translucent negligee. My love muffin got excited by a woman dressed to murder. There was probably something deeply twisted about that. Lucky for me, negligees were never my thing.”

Source: Magic Gifts

“Some people got vicious Dobermans. I got a shaved attack poodle in a black sweater. His tough, spawn-of-hell image had taken a fatal blow, but at least he would be warm.”

Source: Magic Bleeds

“Anger - a better alternative to caffeine.”

Source: Magic Rises

“The Beast Lord way: often wrong but never in doubt.”

Source: Magic Slays

“Her imagination painted Georgie twenty years later, sitting in leg irons before some Broken psychiatrist. "Well, you see, it all started with bubbles…”

Source: On the Edge

“Kate Daniels, trained negotiator. When in possession of some valuable information, give it away to the first sexy man you see with no guarantee of return.”

Source: Magic Strikes

“Who is Hunter Becker?"
"Becker the Gory? Lighthouse Keepers? Boston?"
"I would've preferred Becker the Easiley Surrendering or Becker the Quite Reasonable, but beyond that his name tells me nothing.”

Source: Magic Slays

“Enough," Curran said. An unmistakable command saturated his voice. Jim clicked his mouth shut. I crossed my arms. "I'm sorry, is this the part where I fall to my knees and shiver in fear, Your Furriness? Silly me, I didn't get the memo.”

Source: Magic Gifts

“We should clap or something." Curran said. "She's trying so hard.”

Source: Magic Bleeds

“Let's have a partnership, Kate. I offer honesty, Kate. I don't have to outrun the Beast Lord I just pissed off, Kate. I only have to outrun you and hit you with my car as I hightail it out of here.”

Source: Magic Bleeds

“Cats randomly refuse to follow orders to prove they can.”

Source: Magic Strikes