Ilona Andrews Quotes

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“I lied. I need your help."
"Who are we killing?"
"Do you have a pen?”

“He said 'woman' in the same way I'd say 'Mmmm, yummy chocolate.”

“Secret to what?"
"Secret to shutting you up," he said. "I just have to beat you till you're half-dead, then give you chicken soup and"--he raised his hands--"blessed silence.”

“I've read your summary."
"And?"
"It's not incompetent."
Be still, my heart, so I don't faint from such faint phrase. "Did you expect it to be written in crayon?”

“I got a dog-training book. It says Grendel needs mental stimulation, so I tried to train him, but I think he must be retarded.”

“I glanced at Derek. The boy wonder didn't melt into a pile of goo, although his gaze was glued to Rowena's chest. Avoiding eye contact. Good strategy.”

“What would I do without the moral compass of a teenage werewolf?”

“You seem to be under the impression that I work for you and you can give me orders. Let me fix that." I hung up.”

“I chuckled to myself and kept walking. The Universe had proven Curran wrong: a person who aggravated him more than me did, in fact, exist.”

“You're not going to die?"
"Not right this minute." And of course, saying something like that usually resulted in immediate dying. I braced myself for a stray meteorite falling through the roof to crush my skull.”

“Please, Kate. Suspend your dislike of me for a few moments and listen to what I have to say. It makes sense."
"I don't dislike you. It's an oversimplification.”

“I tried to picture a female version of Jim and got Jim in a dress instead. The image was disturbing.”

“Outside the windows the day was bright: golden sunshine, blue sky, pleasant wind… I wanted to punch the happy day in the face, grab it by the hair, and beat it until it told me what the hell it was so happy about.”

“Why the rifle? Everybody knows you can’t shoot.”
Who were these everybodies and would they like to stand in front of me, preferably within ten feet, so I could discuss this issue in greater detail.”

“Give me an opportunity to fail," Saiman said. "I promise my corpse won't interrupt your 'I told you so' speech.”

“Congratulations, love. You traded up. Does he treat you well?'
'He's a teddy bear,' I said.
Teddy bear looked like he was suffering from murder withdrawal.

(Rene and Kate on Jim!)”

“Give me a few minutes.”
“You have time.” He sat in the grass.
“Are you just going to sit there and watch me?”
“Yes. Watching pretty peasant girls is what we poor little rich boys do best.”
“Peasant?”
He shrugged. “You started the name calling.”

“Everybody has something, that one thing they must do to feel happy. I think this is yours, and I want you to be happy. You don’t have to do it, but it’s here if you choose to come back to it.”

“Wanna spot me?"
"No thanks. How about I just scream verbal encouragements at you?”

“Put your badass faces on and follow me.”

“He groaned and I saw his face. "Curran!" I would've preferred a homicidal lunatic. Oh, wait…”

“It's awful to be rich and mind-boggingly handsome and have women fawn over you. My heart bleeds for you. Poor dear, how do you manage?”

“« Are you hungry, baby?” Curran asked.
“Starving.”
“I think we should go to dinner.”
“Great idea.”
“What are you going to wear?”
“My badass face.”
“Good choice,” he said. »”

“Do you have spies in Clan Heavy?”
“I have spies everywhere.”
I looked at Andrea, who was hoarding bacon on her plate.
“She had tea with Mahon’s wife.” Andrea said.
Aunt B looked at her. “You and I need to work on your air of mystery.”

“I've never seen such a collection of idiots in my whole life.' Doolittle shook his head. 'If you participate in this lunacy, y'all will get yourselves killed. Then don't come crying to me.'
Now that would be a neat trick.”

“Who snitched?"
"We have people monitoring police radio frequencies. They gave Jim a heads-up in case our security had to storm PAD offices and bust you out of there. I found out when I saw Jim walking down the hallway snickering to himself.”

“Because he has the best equipment in the City and he knows how to use it!”

“I turned and bumped my head against his chest a few times. It was the nearest hard surface.”

“What do you mean fainted?
Took a dive, kissed the pavement. Swooned like a southern belle after her first kiss. Had a dreadful case of the vapors.”

“I had the metabolism of a hummingbird on crack.”

“If he full-out flexed, I would probably faint, or jump off the building.”

“Who the hell would attack the Steel Horse anyway? What was the thinking behind that? “Here is a bar full of psychotic killers who grow giant claws and people who pilot the undead for a living. I think I’ll go wreck the place.”

“Curran struck at my wrist. His fingers were cat-quick, but I had spent my life honing my reflexes, and he missed.
“Well, look at that.” I studied my free wrist. “Denied. Good-bye”

“Keeping you safe keeps me in shape.”

“Oh, it's you," Curran's voice said quietly. "I thought it was an elephant.”

“Ready to put your claws where your mouth is, or are you going to cringe behind the big boys and yip all day?"
His eyes flared yellow "Is that a challenge?"
"Yes it is.”

“Kate Daniels, deadly swordmaster. Fear my twitching pinkie.”

“Andrea: "…. I think a dog is a great idea. I just never pictured you with a mutant poodle.”
Kate: “He isn’t a poodle. He’s a Doberman mix."
Andrea: “Aha. Keep telling yourself that.”

“It's not your job to die for your Pack! It's your job to make the other bastards die for theirs.”

“Would you care for something to drink?”
“Is it poisoned?”
“It’s Saturday,” I said. “We only serve poison during the week.”

“I sighed and put Slayer between the front seats. "Stay here. Guard the car."
Saiman shut the door. "Is the sword sentient?"
"No. But I like to pretend it is.”

“Your sword is made out of your grandmother’s bones?”
“Okay, I see how it sounds weird when you say it in that tone of voice”

“If the lot of you survives, Curran will flay the skin off your backs," Doolittle said.
"That's what I always love about you, Doctor." Raphael grinned. "You're a cup-halfway-full kind of guy. All flowers and sunshine.”

“Fortune favors the brave," I told her. It also kills the stupid, but I decided to keep that fact to myself.”

“Yes, I'm a hermit. Mostly I brood," Mad Rogan said. "Also, I'm very good at wallowing in self-pity. I spend my days steeped in melancholy, looking out the window. Occasionally a single tear quietly rolls down my cheek.”

“I looked at him. "You really need to work on your threats. I can't tell if you're threatening me or inviting me for tea.”

“Cute. I think I would prefer to be stabbed in the eye rather than be called cute.”

“Roland had sworn off children—they kept trying to kill him.”

“This was hell and I was its fury.”