Groucho Marx: Trending quotes (page 3)

“While money can't buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.”

“Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.”

“I have nothing but respect for you -- and not much of that.”

“Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.”

“A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.”

“I intend to live forever, or die trying.”

“Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman. Then if you can get the dog to go somewhere and read the book, I might have a little fun.”

“Whatever it is, I'm against it.”

“Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men -- the other 999 follow women.”

“She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.”

“Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.”

“Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.”

“Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.”

“Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.”

“The only real laughter comes from despair.”

“Room service? Send up a larger room."

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“If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.”

“Do you mind if I don't smoke?”

“I’ll put off readingfor six more years until she turns 18.”