Eoin Colfer Quotes

page 3

“Oh, It's going to be so easy to kill you", scoffed Opal.”

“Radomosity, thought Artemis. And he felt like weeping.”

“Ignorance, as they say, is usually fatal, but sometimes it can be bliss.”

“A fifeteen-year old, of to save the world, with faries. - Angeline Fowl”

“Vinyaya was being openly antagonistic, and that was an emotion that could be trusted, unless of course it was a bluff and the commander was a secret fan of his, unless it was a double bluff and she really did feel antagonistic.”

“If things go badly for me tonight, I want you to stay with Mr. Wynter; he will pay you a decent wage.”

“Will he make me bathe?”

“No, he will debate the matter with you until you decide to wash.”

“Ah. One of those.”

“Butler was seeing the world as it was, complete with L. E. P retrival team”

“Together we will be unstoppable.”

“Doobie always wanted to see the badge. It was shiny, and he was eight.”

“Now before we get into anything, ladies, no scratching, no spitting and no tattling to mummy.”

“I miss my suits…”

“We get an apartment together, and after a whirlwind courtship you marry my sister and honeymoon in Vegas.”

“The Theory of Evolution has more holes in it than a dam made out of Swiss cheese.”

“Wait," said Butler. "Just wait, Holly. Artemis has a plan." He squinted through the green dome. "What is your plan, Artemis?"
All Artemis could do was smile and shrug.”

“Scientists are the enemies of tradition, and tradition own all the prisons. - Victor Vigny”

“Yes, Chix, it's between us. Everyone has a right to be temporarily unstable.
- Foaly”

“This was a nightmare scenario for any bodyguard: stuck in the middle of a transparent tube, several miles underwater, with a murdering band of fugitives at one end and an enthralled but still highly skilled police officer at the other.”

“I am not exuding anything," said Holly through gritted teeth.

Orion tapped her shoulder. "I beg to differ. You're exuding right now, a wonderful aura. It's pastel blue with little dolphins.”

“I feel like Alice falling into Wonderland.
A line came to him: It would be so nice if something made sense for a change.”

“Holly: Seven and a half hours to save the world. Isn’t there some law that says we get twenty-four?
Artemis I don't think Opal pays much attention to laws.”

“Dreams come true all the time, just not for the dreamers”

“The little boys did as they were told, eager to please their deranged brother.

"," they chorused, pudgy fingers raised. And then from the corner of his mouth, Myles whispered to his twin, "Artemis simple-toon.”

“Trust me. I haven't been wrong yet.”

“Orion nodded, then asked, “Dwarf cheese?”
“Cheese made by dwarfs.”
“Oh,” said Orion, relieved. “They make it. It’s not actually…”
“No. What a horrible thought.”
“Exactly.”

“A metaphorical weight lifted from his allegorical chest and Artemis Fowl felt himself again.”

“I have no time for babbling foolishness.”

“Don’t be so hasty,” said Victor. “There’s always time for babbling.”

“… to be injured on this tundra would lead to a quick and painful death—or at the very least abject humiliation before the popping flashes of the tourist season's tail end, which was slightly less painful than a painful death, but lasted longer.”

“Her glare was so intense that you completely forgot she was wearing pink.”

“Don't worry chief,"said foaly,"It's like riding a unicorn, you never forget.”

“Careful, Mr. Spiro, guns are dangerous. Especially the end with the hole.”

“Have you ever heard of the theory of relativity?"
Artemis blinked. "Is this a joke? I have traveled through time, Doctor. I think I know a little something about relativity.”

“My truffles? You took them? That's just mean!”

“Artemis Fowl grinned right back at him and pointed his index finger to the sky… from the tip of this finger sprang a small blue spark that exploded like a tiny firework.
“I know magic can be stolen,” said Artemis. “Because I stole some myself.”

“How could you…? How?"
"Logically you have no right to be angry. I simply followed your lead."
…"No," She managed.
"There is no other way.”

“We lost the crickets.”

“Everything rests on the poisoned wine. If it were just the queen, I could force it down her gullet, but Declan Broekhart would run me through with that damned ceremonial sword, and if his wife's stares were daggers, he'd be dead already.”

“You need to stop thinking with your head, Mud Boy, and start thinking with your heart.”

Artemis sighed. The heart was an organ for pumping oxygen-rich blood to the cells. It could no more think than an apple could tap-dance.”

“Remember the pain?' thought Artemis. I hate myself. I really do.”

“Foaly: Caballine likes me to be masterful. She calls me her stallion.”

“this was business.”

“Commander: What's that?
Foaly: It's a finger, what does look like?”

“Very well. I understand. Just… shut up!”

“That was all he said, except for "Aaaeerrgghhh." Which is not really a word. But the reason that he screamed "Aaaeerrgghhh" was that Franco had bitten him savegly on the wrist.”

“As a child, Zaphod had been diagnosed with ADHDDAAADHD (ntm) ABT which stood for Always Dreaming His Dopey Days Away, Also Attention Deficit Hyperflactulance Disorder (not to mention) A Bit Thick.”

“Just what we need," moaned Holly. "Artemis Fowl with magical powers.”

“Of course I saved you," she said. "I couldn't do without you." And because she was happy and flushed with magic, Holly leaned down and kissed Artemis, magic sparking around the contact like tiny fireworks.”

“This might hurt a little is universal code for this will definitely hurt a lot”

“Satan was crouched in the corner of his office, playing a gameboy, 'Die alien scum' he was saying feverishly..”

“When you've come face-to-face with the dark side of the school yard, life doesn't hold many surprises.”