1. Quotes
  2. Authors
  3. Eoin Colfer

Eoin Colfer Quotes
page 3

Eoin Colfer is an Irish author of children's books. He worked as a primary school teacher before he became a full-time writer. He is best known for being the author of the Artemis Fowl series. In September 2008, Colfer was commissioned to write the sixth installment of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy series, entitled And Another Thing ..., which was published in October 2009.

✵ 14. May 1965  •  Other names این کالفر, يون كولفر
Eoin Colfer photo
Eoin Colfer: 185 quotes11 likes

Eoin Colfer Quotes

“We lost the crickets," she said. "Even you can't make that sound tough."

…"I am Butler," he said with a straight-face. "Everything I say sounds tough. Now, get out of the lake, fairy.”

Eoin Colfer

Source: The Last Guardian

“Oh, It's going to be so easy to kill you", scoffed Opal.”

Eoin Colfer

Source: The Criminal Mastermind Collection, Bks 1-3

“Radomosity, thought Artemis. And he felt like weeping.”

Eoin Colfer

Source: The Atlantis Complex

“Ignorance, as they say, is usually fatal, but sometimes it can be bliss.”

Eoin Colfer

Source: The Last Guardian

“A fifeteen-year old, of to save the world, with faries. - Angeline Fowl”

Eoin Colfer

Source: The Atlantis Complex

“Vinyaya was being openly antagonistic, and that was an emotion that could be trusted, unless of course it was a bluff and the commander was a secret fan of his, unless it was a double bluff and she really did feel antagonistic.”

Eoin Colfer

Source: The Atlantis Complex

“If things go badly for me tonight, I want you to stay with Mr. Wynter; he will pay you a decent wage.”

“Will he make me bathe?”

“No, he will debate the matter with you until you decide to wash.”

“Ah. One of those.”

Eoin Colfer book Airman

Source: Airman

“Together we will be unstoppable.”

Eoin Colfer

Source: The Eternity Code

“Doobie always wanted to see the badge. It was shiny, and he was eight.”

Eoin Colfer book Half Moon Investigations

Source: Half Moon Investigations

“I miss my suits…”

Eoin Colfer

“We get an apartment together, and after a whirlwind courtship you marry my sister and honeymoon in Vegas.”

Eoin Colfer

Source: The Time Paradox

“Wait," said Butler. "Just wait, Holly. Artemis has a plan." He squinted through the green dome. "What is your plan, Artemis?"
All Artemis could do was smile and shrug.”

Eoin Colfer

Source: The Last Guardian

“Scientists are the enemies of tradition, and tradition own all the prisons. - Victor Vigny”

Eoin Colfer book Airman

Source: Airman

“Yes, Chix, it's between us. Everyone has a right to be temporarily unstable.
- Foaly”

Eoin Colfer

Source: The Opal Deception

“This was a nightmare scenario for any bodyguard: stuck in the middle of a transparent tube, several miles underwater, with a murdering band of fugitives at one end and an enthralled but still highly skilled police officer at the other.”

Eoin Colfer

Source: The Atlantis Complex

“I am not exuding anything," said Holly through gritted teeth.

Orion tapped her shoulder. "I beg to differ. You're exuding right now, a wonderful aura. It's pastel blue with little dolphins.”

Eoin Colfer

Source: The Atlantis Complex

“I feel like Alice falling into Wonderland.
A line came to him: It would be so nice if something made sense for a change.”

Eoin Colfer

Source: The Last Guardian

“Holly: Seven and a half hours to save the world. Isn’t there some law that says we get twenty-four?
Artemis I don't think Opal pays much attention to laws.”

Eoin Colfer

Source: Artemis Fowl: The Opal Deception (2005)

“Dreams come true all the time, just not for the dreamers”

Eoin Colfer

“The little boys did as they were told, eager to please their deranged brother.

"," they chorused, pudgy fingers raised. And then from the corner of his mouth, Myles whispered to his twin, "Artemis simple-toon.”

Eoin Colfer

Source: The Time Paradox

“Trust me. I haven't been wrong yet.”

Eoin Colfer

“Orion nodded, then asked, “Dwarf cheese?”
“Cheese made by dwarfs.”
“Oh,” said Orion, relieved. “They make it. It’s not actually…”
“No. What a horrible thought.”
“Exactly.”

Eoin Colfer

Source: The Atlantis Complex

“I have no time for babbling foolishness.”

“Don’t be so hasty,” said Victor. “There’s always time for babbling.”

Eoin Colfer book Airman

Source: Airman

“… to be injured on this tundra would lead to a quick and painful death—or at the very least abject humiliation before the popping flashes of the tourist season's tail end, which was slightly less painful than a painful death, but lasted longer.”

Eoin Colfer

Source: The Atlantis Complex

“Her glare was so intense that you completely forgot she was wearing pink.”

Eoin Colfer

Source: Half-Moon Investigations

“Don't worry chief,"said foaly,"It's like riding a unicorn, you never forget.”

Eoin Colfer Artemis Fowl

Variant: It's like learning to ride a unicorn. You never forget.
Source: Artemis Fowl

“Careful, Mr. Spiro, guns are dangerous. Especially the end with the hole.”

Eoin Colfer

Source: The Eternity Code

“Have you ever heard of the theory of relativity?"
Artemis blinked. "Is this a joke? I have traveled through time, Doctor. I think I know a little something about relativity.”

Eoin Colfer

Source: The Last Guardian

“My truffles? You took them? That's just mean!”

Eoin Colfer

Source: The Opal Deception

“Artemis Fowl grinned right back at him and pointed his index finger to the sky… from the tip of this finger sprang a small blue spark that exploded like a tiny firework.
“I know magic can be stolen,” said Artemis. “Because I stole some myself.”

Eoin Colfer

“How could you…? How?"
"Logically you have no right to be angry. I simply followed your lead."
…"No," She managed.
"There is no other way.”

Eoin Colfer

Source: The Last Guardian

“We lost the crickets.”

Eoin Colfer

Source: The Last Guardian

“Everything rests on the poisoned wine. If it were just the queen, I could force it down her gullet, but Declan Broekhart would run me through with that damned ceremonial sword, and if his wife's stares were daggers, he'd be dead already.”

Eoin Colfer book Airman

Source: Airman

“You need to stop thinking with your head, Mud Boy, and start thinking with your heart.”

Artemis sighed. The heart was an organ for pumping oxygen-rich blood to the cells. It could no more think than an apple could tap-dance.”

Eoin Colfer

“Remember the pain?' thought Artemis. I hate myself. I really do.”

Eoin Colfer

Source: The Time Paradox

“Foaly: Caballine likes me to be masterful. She calls me her stallion.”

Eoin Colfer

Source: Artemis Fowl: The Lost Colony (2006)

“this was business.”

Eoin Colfer Artemis Fowl

Source: Artemis Fowl

“Very well. I understand. Just… shut up!”

Eoin Colfer

“That was all he said, except for "Aaaeerrgghhh." Which is not really a word. But the reason that he screamed "Aaaeerrgghhh" was that Franco had bitten him savegly on the wrist.”

Eoin Colfer book The Wish List

Source: The Wish List

“As a child, Zaphod had been diagnosed with ADHDDAAADHD (ntm) ABT which stood for Always Dreaming His Dopey Days Away, Also Attention Deficit Hyperflactulance Disorder (not to mention) A Bit Thick.”

Eoin Colfer book And Another Thing...

Source: And Another Thing...

“Just what we need," moaned Holly. "Artemis Fowl with magical powers.”

Eoin Colfer

Source: The Lost Colony

“Of course I saved you," she said. "I couldn't do without you." And because she was happy and flushed with magic, Holly leaned down and kissed Artemis, magic sparking around the contact like tiny fireworks.”

Eoin Colfer

Source: The Time Paradox

“This might hurt a little is universal code for this will definitely hurt a lot”

Eoin Colfer

Source: The Last Guardian

“Satan was crouched in the corner of his office, playing a gameboy, 'Die alien scum' he was saying feverishly..”

Eoin Colfer book The Wish List

Source: The Wish List

“When you've come face-to-face with the dark side of the school yard, life doesn't hold many surprises.”

Eoin Colfer

Source: Half-Moon Investigations