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Eoin Colfer Quotes
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Eoin Colfer is an Irish author of children's books. He worked as a primary school teacher before he became a full-time writer. He is best known for being the author of the Artemis Fowl series. In September 2008, Colfer was commissioned to write the sixth installment of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy series, entitled And Another Thing ..., which was published in October 2009.

✵ 14. May 1965  •  Other names این کالفر, يون كولفر
Eoin Colfer photo
Eoin Colfer: 185 quotes11 likes

Eoin Colfer Quotes

“That will be her undoing," gasped Artemis, already suffering under the weight of the flak jacket. "Artemis Fowl will never be."
"I thought you were Artemis Fowl the Second?" said Holly.”

Eoin Colfer

Source: The Last Guardian

“It was calling me, that button," he offered as his excuse. "I couldn't resist." -MULCH DIGGUMS ON A HIGHLY PRESS-ABLE BUTTON-”

Eoin Colfer

“I wear a name tag to help people find me. It saves time when you're dealing with idiots.”

Eoin Colfer book And Another Thing...

Source: And Another Thing...

“Control puberty?" snorted the bodyguard."If you manage that, you'll be the first.”

Eoin Colfer

Source: The Lost Colony

“Miss me? Bet you did… so would I.”

Eoin Colfer book And Another Thing...

Source: And Another Thing...

“Don't try to understand me, just be grateful that you felt the warmth of Zaphod Beeblebrox's aura on your wonderstruck face.”

Eoin Colfer

“I am older and have more control over my empathy,' said Qwan. 'That's why I didn't throw up.' And having said that, he threw up.”

Eoin Colfer

Source: The Lost Colony

“He knew that Dr. Argon would advise him against bottling up his emotions as it would lead to psychological scarring in the long term.”

Eoin Colfer

Source: The Last Guardian

“Anybody see you come in here?"
Holly thought about it.
"The FBI, CIA, NSA, DEA, M16. Oh, and the EIB."
Foaly frowned. "EIB?"
"Everyone in the building.”

Eoin Colfer Artemis Fowl

Variant: Foaly: Anyone see you come in here?
Holly: The FBI, CIA, NSA, DEA, MI6. Oh, and the EIB.
Foaly: The EIB?
Holly: (smirking) Everyone in the building.
Source: Artemis Fowl (2001)

“Perhaps we can win, he thought. But there will be no happy ending”

Eoin Colfer

Source: The Last Guardian

“Anything else, Butler?"
"The cosh, sir.”

Eoin Colfer Artemis Fowl

Source: Artemis Fowl

“Artemis: Sometimes plans don't translate smoothly from paper to real life.”

Eoin Colfer book Artemis Fowl: The Arctic Incident

Artemis Fowl: The Arctic Incident (2002)

“Nice shirt, Fletcher,” said Sergeant Murt Hourihan. “”You looking for a job in a surf store?”

Eoin Colfer book Half Moon Investigations

Half Moon Investigations (2006)

“There seemed an unwritten agreement that the Thunder God should be left in peace, which was probably due to the very clearly written message painted on a whitewashed wall in what looked like lumpy congealed blood, which read: Leave me in peace and I probably won't kill you. No promise, mind. Probably is absolutely the best I can do.</i”

Eoin Colfer book And Another Thing...

And Another Thing... (2009), Chapter 8

“Red held me at arm’s length, grinning. “Welcome to the family, Half Moon,” he said.”

Eoin Colfer book Half Moon Investigations

Half Moon Investigations (2006)

“In the Bernstein Manual there is a short chapter on undercover work. The first line says, in capital letters, AVOID UNDERCOVER WORK.”

Eoin Colfer book Half Moon Investigations

Half Moon Investigations (2006)

““Who can fathom the workings of the criminal mind?” I said, trying to sound intelligent.”

Eoin Colfer book Half Moon Investigations

Half Moon Investigations (2006)

“Don't worry. I've been in showbusiness for a long time now - I know how to handle bastards”

Eoin Colfer book And Another Thing...

And Another Thing... (2009), Chapter 8

“And so Butler made a decision, the consequences of which would haunt his dreams and waking hours for years to come. As a professional bodyguard, he knew the futility of second-guessing his own actions, but in the nights ahead he would often sit by the fire, with his head in his hands, and replay the moment in his mind, wishing that he had acted differently. Whatever way he played it out, the results were tragic, but at least they would not have been tragic for Artemis.”

Eoin Colfer book Artemis Fowl: The Lost Colony

Artemis Fowl: The Lost Colony (2006)

“Chief of security : They have a tank! How did they get a tank up here?”

Eoin Colfer book Artemis Fowl: The Lost Colony

Artemis Fowl: The Lost Colony (2006)

“Opal: I am your daughter, Belinda.”

Eoin Colfer

Artemis Fowl: The Opal Deception (2005)

“Mulch : Go. I say again, we have a go situation on the black op code red thing.”

Eoin Colfer book Artemis Fowl: The Eternity Code

Artemis Fowl: The Eternity Code (2003)

“Artemis: (to Spiro) About my name- Artemis- you were right. In London, it is generally a female name, after the Greek goddess of archery. But every now and then a male comes along with such a talent for hunting that he earns the right to use the name. I am that male. Artemis the Hunter. I hunted you.”

Eoin Colfer book Artemis Fowl: The Eternity Code

Artemis Fowl: The Eternity Code (2003)