Doug Stanhope: Going

Doug Stanhope is American stand-up comedian, actor, and author. Explore interesting quotes on going.

Doug Stanhope: 56 quotes1 like

“I hate when your friends quit drinking on you, don't you? It's sad. I've lost more friends to AA than Liberace did to the virus. It's sad to see 'em go. You see a thirty day chip on your buddy's key ring, it's like seeing a toe tag on his cold, stiff corpse.”

Something to Take the Edge Off (2000)

“Complaining that a comic is drunk is like going to a titty bar and complaining because your lapdancer is a communist.”

Deadbeat Hero (2004)

“(on people who join the military) As long as the people who kinda wanna go kill other people are going to go kill other people who kinda wanna go kill other people, you're killing all the right people and opening up all the best parking spaces.”

Deadbeat Hero (2004)

“[in regards to the subway breakfast sandwich not being available after 11AM] I'll go "Uh, hey man, uh gimme an egg and cheese", and the kid will say, "I'm sorry, sir, it's after 11, we put all that stuff away." You didn't put it away… it's in the second green cabinet, it's right there. This place is as big as a photo-mat, there is no "away" in the building, you don't own "away". There's no Brink's truck that pulls up at 11:02 and yanks out the eggs under armed guard.”

Deadbeat Hero (2004)