1. Quotes
  2. Authors
  3. Daniel Handler

Daniel Handler Quotes
page 4

Daniel Handler is an American writer, musician and journalist. He is best known for his work under the pen name Lemony Snicket, having published children's series A Series of Unfortunate Events and All the Wrong Questions under this pseudonym. He has also published adult novels under his real name; his first book The Basic Eight was rejected by many publishers for its dark subject matter. His most recent book is All the Dirty Parts. Handler has also played the accordion in several bands.



✵ 28. February 1970  •  Other names دنیل هندلر
Daniel Handler photo
Daniel Handler: 190 quotes9 likes

Daniel Handler Quotes

“Adam hates Tomas and tried to get Eddie to join him in hate. It hasn't worked, although Eddie will admit certain shortcomings, and the two men have not met until now, in the forest, when Adam has decided that Tomas in Eddie's stories and the Tomas in this story are the same man.”

Daniel Handler book Adverbs

Adverbs (2006), Clearly

“I didn't realize this was a sad occasion. — Waiter at The Anxious Clown Restaurant”

Daniel Handler

Lemony Snicket: The Unauthorized Autobiography (2002)

“Oftentimes, when people are miserable, they will want to make other people miserable, too. But it never helps. -Lemony Snicket”

Daniel Handler book The Wide Window

The Wide Window (2000)

“Violet said…"We've never known anyone who could remain so cheerful, no matter what terrible things occurred.”

Daniel Handler book The Grim Grotto

The Grim Grotto (2004)

“It is my solemn duty to stay up all night researching and writing the history of these three hapless youngsters, but you may be more comfortable getting a good night's sleep. In that case, you should probably choose some other book.”

Daniel Handler book The Austere Academy

The Austere Academy (2000)

“Stealing, of course, is a crime, and a very impolite thing to do. But like most impolite things, it is excusable under certain circumstances. Stealing is not excusable if, for instance, you are in a museum and you decide that a certain painting would look better in your house, and you simply grab the painting and take it there. But if you were very, very hungry, and you had no way of obtaining money, it might be excusable to grab the painting, take it to your house, and eat it. -Lemony Snicket”

Daniel Handler book The Wide Window

The Wide Window (2000)

“Just about everything in this world is easier said than done, with the exception of ‘systematically assisting Sisyphus’s stealthy, syst-susceptible sister,’ which is easier done than said.”

Daniel Handler book The Vile Village

Lemony Snicket
The Vile Village (2001)

“I'm not - the terrific guy you keep telling me about. I'm not made of sugar and spice and everything nice. I'm made of rats and snails and puppy-dogs tails. I lie sometimes. I have broken people's hearts. I'm looking for love, I'll admit that, but now that it's here in abundance, I'm afraid of commitment and I want you, please, to leave me.”

Daniel Handler book Adverbs

Adverbs (2006), Collectively

“Miracles are like meatballs because nobody knows what they are made of, where they came from or how often they should appear.”

Daniel Handler book The Carnivorous Carnival

Lemony Snicket
The Carnivorous Carnival (2002)

“It's always dawnest before dark”

Daniel Handler book Adverbs

Adverbs (2006), Soundly

“They could not love anymore, they thought, just drink and pour coffee and track people down in the rain. They were living frigidly, as if in a cone of frost.”

Daniel Handler book Adverbs

Adverbs (2006), Frigidly

“I have promised to write down the entire history of these three poor children, but you haven't, so if you prefer stories that are more heartwarming, please feel free to make another selection.”

Daniel Handler book The Miserable Mill

The Miserable Mill (2000)

“This was that day if you know what I mean.”

Daniel Handler book Adverbs

Adverbs (2006), Frigidly

“I'll have ten grams of rice, Mrs. Bass interrupted, one tenth of a hectogram of shrimp vindaloo, a dekagram of chana aloo masala, one thousand centigrams of tandori salmon, four samosas with surface area of nineteen cubic centimeters, five deciliters of mango lassi, and a sada rava dosai that's exactly nineteen centimeters long.”

Daniel Handler book The Penultimate Peril

page 134.
The Penultimate Peril (2005)

“A cloud of dust is not a beautiful thing to look at. Very few painters have done portraits of huge clouds of dust or included them in their landscapes or still life. Film directors rarely choose huge clouds of dust to play the lead roles in romantic comedies, and as far as my research has shown, a huge cloud of dust has never placed higher than twenty-fifth in a beauty pageant.”

Daniel Handler book The Vile Village

Lemony Snicket
The Vile Village (2001)

“I can't stand the lyrics.”

Daniel Handler book The Grim Grotto

Klaus
The Grim Grotto (2004)

“Klaus: Yes, sir.”

Daniel Handler book The Miserable Mill

The Miserable Mill (2000)

“The world is a harum-scarum place.”

Daniel Handler book The Carnivorous Carnival

"Harum?" Sunny asked.
It's complicated and confusing," Olivia explained. They say that long ago it was simple and quiet, but that might be a legend.
The Carnivorous Carnival (2002)