Craig Ferguson: Trending quotes (page 4)

Craig Ferguson trending quotes. Read the latest quotes in collection
Craig Ferguson: 236   quotes 0   likes

“He's quiet as well, especially if you stalk him.”

On Brad Pitt.
The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (2005–2014)

“Change is the nature of God’s mind, and resistance to it is the source of great pain.”

Between the Bridge and the River (2006)
Variant: Change is the nature of God’s mind, and resistance to it is the source of great pain.

“You know who doesn't like _____? Al-Qaeda!”

citation needed
The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (2005–2014), Commonly repeated

“It's a great day for America, everybody.”

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The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (2005–2014), Commonly repeated

“[referring to himself] Where's the Scottish Conan guy?”

citation needed
The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (2005–2014), Commonly repeated

“…best night of my life.”

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The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (2005–2014), Commonly repeated

“[reading an email] "Dear Craig, … are your letters written by your writers?" No. "Does this make me one of your writers?" (ponders) Yes. "Why haven't I been paid?"”

Because you're one of my writers!
2009-04-03 broadcast
The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (2005–2014)

“By the way, _____ was a name I used to dance under.”

citation needed
The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (2005–2014), "By the way…" variations

“I don't like my politicians entertaining me and I don't like my entertainers politicianing [sic] me.”

The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (2005–2014)

“Welcome back, my naughty monkeys.”

whipcrack
citation needed
The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (2005–2014), "Welcome Back" variations
Variant: Welcome back, my frisky badgers

“Clive Barker: It's an excuse to look at my groin.
Craig Ferguson: I'm European - I don't need an excuse.”

Off-topic discussion about Clive Barker's pants.
The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (2005–2014)

“[referring to a suggestive comment aimed at the audience] You too, ladies.”

citation needed
The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (2005–2014), Commonly repeated

“[to camera] Excuse me for just a second. [walks off-camera, to studio audience] Shut up!”

2009-05-15 broadcast
The audience had collectively went "Aw…", expressing disappointment.
The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (2005–2014)

“He's German so he's Herr Ball. Herr Ball. His movies are so bad, cats choke when they hear his name.”

The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (2005–2014)