Chris Pontius Quotes

“I guess I don't have any last words. I'm just gonna kill myself once I lose my wiener.”

“Steve-O, I don't like the man… he lost!”

“They say Poland is the Mexico of Europe. I don't know what that means, but I like it.”

“For one thing, God didn't invent the circumcision, I did.”

“Fire doesn't burn if you're already dead!”

“I gotta come to term with my sexuality. I gotta know what I'm all about.”

“Today's debate: Is it wrong to be strong? You be the judge.”

“Hi, I'm bunny the life guard and if there's any life-saving to do I'm the man to do it”

“There's a very good chance we could be riding each other to Russia.”

“With a simple shave of the razor Steve-O easily disguises himself in fooling the whale shark in thinking he's a harmless young boy.”

“Wait a minute. I already know my fortune, it's partying!”

“Water-based lube: Friend or Foe?”

“Latvia gangsters. cool. I want to join them.”

“I'm not into bestiality, but that's a good-looking animal.”

“That guy right there is the best damn roller skater ever. Maybe even in the whole town.”

“Russian police. Stern, stern but fair”

“From my experiments with sexiness, seems like a lot of people are afraid at first, and fear usually equals violence. But eventually I'll win their hearts and instead of fighting they'll want to make love to me.”

“I'm gonna be so bummed when they announce my sexually transmitted diseases.”

“When he's asleep, I wish he was awake, when he is”

“Sir, could I trouble you for a kiss?”

“Hi I'm Bunny the Lifeguard and if any of these alligators try to ruin our swimming, I'm gonna wrestle 'em to the ground and probably have my way with them.”

“Pedal faster! Come on, there are crocodiles in this water and I hear they'll eat anything - even plastic!”

“You're not even Mexican!”

“My job on this show is to be naked, not kill myself.”

“You look cool, Steve-0.”