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When You Are Engulfed in Flames

When You Are Engulfed in Flames

David Sedaris

When You Are Engulfed in Flames is a collection of essays by bestselling American humorist David Sedaris. It was released on June 3, 2008.

“Most people would have found it grotesque, but when you're in love nothing is so abstract or horrible that it can't be thought of as cute.”

David Sedaris When You Are Engulfed in Flames

Source: When You Are Engulfed in Flames

“Sometimes the sins you haven't committed are all you have left to hold onto.”

David Sedaris When You Are Engulfed in Flames

Source: When You Are Engulfed in Flames

“Like anyone nostalgic for a time he didn't live through, I chose to weed out the little inconveniences: polio, say, or the thought of eating stewed squirrel. The world was simply grander back then, somehow more civilized, and nicer to look at.”

David Sedaris When You Are Engulfed in Flames

Source: When You Are Engulfed in Flames

“It's just a penis, right? Probably no worse for you than smoking.”

David Sedaris When You Are Engulfed in Flames

Source: When You Are Engulfed in Flames

“It's safe to assume that by 2085 guns will be sold in vending machines but you won't be able to smoke anywhere in America.”

David Sedaris When You Are Engulfed in Flames

Source: When You Are Engulfed in Flames

“And when Hugh would grow progressively Gandhi on me, I'd remind him that these were pests---disease carriers who feasted upon the dead and then came indoors to dance upon our silverware.”

David Sedaris When You Are Engulfed in Flames

Source: When You Are Engulfed in Flames

“High school taught me a valuable lesson about glasses: Don't wear them. Contacts have always seemed like too much work, so instead I just squint, figuring that if something is more than ten feet away, I'll just deal with it when I get there.”

David Sedaris When You Are Engulfed in Flames

Source: When You Are Engulfed in Flames

“I'd always thought that I understood this, but lately I realize that what I call "understanding" is basically just fantasizing.”

David Sedaris When You Are Engulfed in Flames

Source: When You Are Engulfed in Flames

“I needed to temper (my dad's) enthusiasm a bit (about attending Princeton), and so I announced that I would be majoring in patricide… My mom was actually jealous.”

David Sedaris When You Are Engulfed in Flames

Source: When You Are Engulfed in Flames

“A zoo is a good place to make a spectacle of yourself, as the people around you have creepier, more photogenic things to look at.”

David Sedaris When You Are Engulfed in Flames

Source: When You Are Engulfed in Flames

“It is funny the things that run through your mind when you're sitting in your underpants in front of a pair of strangers.”

David Sedaris When You Are Engulfed in Flames

Source: When You Are Engulfed in Flames

“Given enough time, I guess anything can look good. All it has to do is survive.”

David Sedaris When You Are Engulfed in Flames

Source: When You Are Engulfed in Flames

“Oh, for Christ's sake,' I hear. 'Can we please just try to have a good time?' This is like ordering someone to find you attractive, and it doesn't work. I've tried it.”

David Sedaris When You Are Engulfed in Flames

Source: When You Are Engulfed in Flames

“This left me alone to solve the coffee problem - a sort of catch-22, as in order to think straight I need caffeine, and in order to make that happen I need to think straight.”

David Sedaris When You Are Engulfed in Flames

Source: When You Are Engulfed in Flames

“This was the consequence of seeing too much and understanding the horrible truth: No one is safe. The world is not manageable.”

David Sedaris When You Are Engulfed in Flames

Source: When You Are Engulfed in Flames

“… name association was big, as were my presumed interests in vaudeville and politics. In St. Louis the Bow tie was characterized as "very Charlie McCarthy", while in Chicago a young man defined it as "the pierced eyebrow of the Republican party."”

David Sedaris When You Are Engulfed in Flames

On stereotypes of bowtie wearers, [Sedaris, David, David Sedaris, When You Are Engulfed in Flames, Little, Brown and Company, Buddy, Can You Spare a Tie?, 2008, 0316143472]
When You Are Engulfed in Flames (2008)

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