Quotes from book

Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?

“I really think guys only need two pairs of shoes. A nice pair of black shoes and a pair of Chuck Taylors.”

“Future hipsters will love me ironically.”

“I didn't completely forget how to be nice or feminine because I have a career.”

“Always Wear Flats and Have Your Friends Sleep Over: A Step-by-Step How-To Guide for Avoiding Getting Murdered”

“I just want ambitious teenagers to know it is totally fine to be quite, observant kids. Besides being a delight to your parents, you will find you have plenty of time later to catch up.”

“Nothing gives you confidence like being a member of a small, weirdly specific, hard-to-find demographic.”

“It'd be great to be so famous that if I murder someone, I will never, ever, ever serve any jail time, even if it's totally obvious to everyone that I did it.”

“Writing, at its heart, is a solitary pursuit, designed to make people depressoids, drug addicts, misanthropes, and antisocial weirdos.”

“I initially thought you were ugly, but then you walked closer to me and I realized you were pretty.”

“All women love Colin Firth: Mr. Darcy, Mark Darcy, George VI—at this point he could play the Craigslist Killer and people would be like, 'Oh my God, the Craigslist Killer has the most boyish smile!”

“In psychology (okay, Twilight) they teach you about the notion of imprinting, and I think it applies here. I reverse-imprinted with athleticism. Ours is the great non-love story of my life.”

“Sometimes you just have to put on lip gloss and pretend to be psyched.”

“Maybe the point is that any marriage is work, but you may as well pick work that you like.”

“So I’m into men now, even though they can be frightening. I want a schedule-keeping, waking-up-early, wallet-carrying, non-Velcro-shoe-wearing man.”

“It makes me cry because it means that fewer and fewer people are believing it's cool to want what I want, which is to be married and have kids and love each other in a monogamous, long-lasting relationship.”

“I simply regard romantic comedies as a subgenre of sci-fi, in which the world created therein has different rules than my regular human world.”

“We never needed best friend gear because I guess with real friends you don't have to make it official. It just is.”

“As my mom has said, when one person is unhappy, it usually means two people are unhappy but that one has not come to terms with it yet.”

“I guess nothing puts a damper on a one-night stand as much as your friend pointing out all the opportunities where you might have been killed.”