Quotes from book

Holidays in Hell

“The larger the German body, the smaller the German bathing suit and the louder the German voice issuing German demands and German orders to everybody who doesn't speak German. For this, and several other reasons, Germany is known as 'the land where Israelis learned their manners.”

“In Western Australia they don't even know how to make that vital piece of sailing-boat equipment, the gin and tonic.”

“Cockfighting has always been my idea of a great sport— two armed entrées battling to see who'll be dinner.”

“The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any better, on average, than the citizens of Baltimore. True, you can sit outside in Paris and drink little cups of coffee, but why this is more stylish than sitting inside and drinking large glasses of whiskey I don't know.”

“Moscow has changed. I was here in 1982, during the Brezhnev twilight, and things are better now. For instance, they've got litter. In 1982 there was nothing to litter with.”

“I like to do my principal research in bars, where people are more likely to tell the truth or, at least, lie less convincingly than they do in briefings and books.”

“They don't like anyone who isn't Korean, and they don't like each other all that much, either. They're hardheaded, hard-drinking, tough little bastards, "the Irish of Asia."”

“Earnestness is just stupidity sent to college.”

“Harvard has been almost as important to the American Jewish community as the pork-sausage industry.”

“War will exist as long as there's a food chain.”

“The Australian language is easier to learn than boat talk. It has a vocabulary of about six words.”

“There are a lot of mysterious things about boats, such as why anyone would get on one voluntarily.”

“Some people are worried about the difference between right and wrong. I'm worried about the difference between wrong and fun.”

“I've always figured that if God wanted us to go to church a lot He'd have given us bigger behinds to sit on and smaller heads to think with.”

“The America's Cup is like driving your Lamborghini to the Grand Prix track to watch the charter buses race.”

“To grasp the true meaning of socialism, imagine a world where everything is designed by the post office, even the sleaze.”

“The Italians have had two thousand years to fix up the Forum and just look at the place.”

“If Christ came back tomorrow, He'd have to change planes in Frankfurt. Modern air travel means less time spent in transit. That time is now spent in transit lounges.”

“Everything on a boat has a different name than it would have if it weren't on a boat. Either this is ancient seafaring tradition or it's how people who mess around with boats try to impress the rest of us who actually finished college.”