Quotes about toilet
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“Ah! Silence is golden. When I was in my observatory at Belle-croix, I dared not move as the silence opened to me a course of discoveries. The families of the wood were then in action. It was the silence that permitted me, immovable as a tree trunk, to see the deer in their hiding-place and at their toilet, to observe the habits of the field rat, of the otter, of the salamander, those fantastic amphibious animals. He who lives in the silence becomes the center of a world; a little more and I could imagine myself the sun of a small creation, if my studies had not recalled to me that I had so much trouble to reproduce a poor tree or a cluster of rushes.”

Théodore Rousseau (1812–1867) French painter (1812-1867)

Quote recorded by fr:Alfred Sensier, in Souvenirs sur Rousseau, Paris, 1872; as cited in The Barbizon School of Painters: Corot, Rousseau, Diaz, Millet, Daubigny, etc., by D. C. Thomson; Scribner and Welford, New York 1890 – (copy nr. 78), p. 120
undated quotes

World, Family, Imagination, Tree

“You and your smarmy pundits — and the smarmy pundits you have in your pocket — can take your war and shove it. Let's unite not only in stopping this war, but in holding this administration accountable. Let's make this crystal clear: We do support our troops, but not the exploitation of them and their families. The money that's spent on this war would be better spent on building levees in New Orleans and health care in Africa and care for our veterans. Iraq is not our toilet. It's a country of human beings whose lives that were once oppressed by Saddam are now in Dante's Inferno.”

Sean Penn (1960) American actor, screenwriter, and film director

[Actor Penn, Rep. Lee appear at town hall meeting on Iraq war, SFGate.com, Carolyn Jones and Cecilia M. Vega, March 24, 2007, http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2007/03/24/BAG3ROR95I45.DTL]

Money, War, Health, Family

“[W]e are assured not just that things will work out over time, but that scarcity is "vanishing before our eyes." Why, look - even as we watch - those 2.8 billion people are going to find food on their plates. Look again in a few hours and their shacks will have toilets - and then air conditioning. In a few days, they'll likely have DVD systems and be doing their banking by cellphone.”

Linda McQuaig (1951) journalist and author

All You Can Eat: Greed, Lust and the New Capitalism (2001)

People, Food, Time

“I'll tell ya the one thing you don't wanna buy at the dollar store - toilet paper. (laughs) I might as well have just used the dollar.”

Larry the Cable Guy (1963) American stand-up comedian, actor, country music artist, voice artist

Tailgate Party (2009)

“Mexico is going to be the new China because what they're doing to us is unbelievable, although they did catch El Chapo. Good? Good? They did catch El Chapo, that's good. I mean I don't know, he better not escape a third time, you know? Those tunnels, bing, boom, right under the toilet, bing boom, right up. It's pretty amazing when you think about it, right? But anyway. I have an idea: Put him on the fourth floor this time, right? No more, no more first floors.”

Donald J. Trump (1946) 45th President of the United States of America

Speech (9 January 2016), as quoted in "El Chapo on Donald Trump: 'Mi Amigo!" http://www.cbsnews.com/news/el-chapo-on-donald-trump-mi-amigo/, by Rebecca Kaplan, CBS News (10 January 2016). <br class="br">2010s, 2016, January

Idea, Thinking, Time

“Each civilization may choose one of two roads to travel, that is, either fret itself to death, or pet itself to death. And in the course of doing one or the other, it eats its way into the Universe, turning cinders and flinders of stars into toilet seats, pegs, gears, cigarette holders and pillowcases, and it does this because, unable to fathom the Universe, it seeks to change that Fathomlessness into Something Fathomable.”

Stanisław Lem book The Cyberiad

In "Tale of the Three Storytelling Machines of King Genius", §10
The Cyberiad (1967)

Death, Way, Travel, Star

“At the millennium we partied like it was 1999. And then we had a 10 year bathtub tequila hangover, man. Just hugging the metaphorical toilet on a daily basis.”

Christopher Titus (1964) actor, writer, podcaster

Neverlution (2011)

“These were people who believed everything about the Soviet Union was perfect, but they were bringing their own toilet paper.”

P. J. O'Rourke book Republican Party Reptile

Republican Party Reptile (1987)

People, Perfection

“No, it turns out Saddam Hussein didn't have weapons of mass destruction. And how crazy does that make Saddam? All he had to do was tell Hans Blix, 'Look anywhere you want. Look under the bed. Look beneath the couch. Look behind the toilet tank in the third presidential palace on the left, but keep your mitts off my copies of Maxim.' And Saddam could have gone on dictatoring away until Donald Rumsfeld gets elected head of the World Council of Churches. But no…”

P. J. O'Rourke (1947) American journalist

"Putting Words in the President's Mouth" (12 October 2004)

World

“France is the only country where the money falls apart and you can’t tear the toilet paper.”

Billy Wilder (1906–2002) American filmmaker

Money, Tear, Country

“I see why CBP officers were being so physically and sexually threatening towards me… Officers were keeping women in cells w/ no water & had told them to drink out of the toilets. This was them on their GOOD behavior in front of members of Congress.”

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (1989) American politician

Twitter Quotes (2019), July 2019

Women, Behavior, Drink, Water

“You and your ancestors treated the world like a fucking great toilet bowl. You shat in it and boasted about the mess you’d made. And now it’s full and overflowing, and you’re fat and happy and black kids are going crazy to keep you rich. Goodbye!”

John Brunner book The Sheep Look Up

February “DISGRACE”
The Sheep Look Up (1972)

Happiness, World

“Americans loved Disneyland, because it gave them something good, something decent, something that epitomized a quality that vacationing American families value above all else: clean toilets.”

Dave Barry (1947) American writer

Source: Nonfiction, Dave Barry Turns 50 (1998), p. 71

Love, Making love, Family

“Which is the way to the toilet?”

Thelonious Monk (1917–1982) American jazz pianist and composer

Circa 1966, reviewing "Easy Listening Blues" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lWKavK4naYM from Oscar Peterson's With Respect to Nat, for DownBeat's "Blindfold Test"; reproduced in The Encyclopedia of Jazz in the Sixties (1966) by Leonard Feather, p. 30

Way

“Nothing is worse than to finish a good shit, then reach over and find the toilet paper container empty. Even the most horrible human being on earth deserves to wipe his ass.”

Charles Bukowski book Factotum

Source: Factotum (1975), Ch.65

“Just like a toilet seat, nigga, I piss on my bitches.”

White Dawg American rapper

"This is How We Ride" on Thug Ride (1999)

Bitch

“It might interest you to know that our state is tired of being used as a chemical toilet so that people in Utah can have plastic lawn furniture.”

Neal Stephenson book Zodiac

"I can't believe an assistant attorney general came right out and said that."
"Well, I wouldn't say it in public."
"Cohen," the assistant attorney general of an unnamed East Coast state meeting covertly with Sangamon Taylor near the Jersey Shore. Chapter 11
Zodiac (1988)

People

“It first starts with an intrepid rat... that goes up to the toilet bowl of the Speaker, just as he's sitting down to do his business... Some readers who couldn't get past the first few pages... called it disgusting and upsetting, and I said, "Well, you're describing the behavior of Congress..."”

Ralph Nader (1934) American consumer rights activist and corporate critic

"How The Rats Reformed The Congress" (2018)

Behavior, Business, Past

“The harsh reality is that my sequestered twins are advancing in the opposite direction of my earhair. Mother Nature has me by the balls, literally. They have actually started a race with my ex-wife's tits. And she will prevail, because she will get hers "done" as I continue to disappear into the abyss of recycled toilet brine. In the end, gravity always wins, people. Remember: when you have a heart attack, you fall down, not up.Middle age is upon me, and I don't remember this shit being in the brochure. I have six different doctors on speed dial, and the font size on my smartphone is at ten with a maximum setting of twelve. That doesn't give me much wiggle room for the golden years.”

Brad Garrett (1960) actor, comedian, voice actor

When the Balls Drop https://books.google.com/books?id=lLydBAAAQBAJ&pg=PT0 (2015), Foreword, "Being Forward."

People, Age, Nature, Reality

“Cleanliness starts in the toilet.”

Joseph Estrada (1937) The 13th President of the Philippines, serving from 1998 until 2001

"Estrada lectures Quinta Market vendors on cleanliness" https://metromanila.politics.com.ph/2017/04/20/estrada-lectures-quinta-market-vendors-cleanliness-starts-toilet/ (April 20, 2017)

Quotes about toilet page 2

Quotes about toilet
page 2