Quotes about mayonnaise

A collection of quotes on the topic of mayonnaise, housing, house, jar.

Quotes about mayonnaise

Ambrose Bierce photo

“Mayonnaise, n. One of the sauces that serve the French in place of a state religion.”

Ambrose Bierce book The Devil's Dictionary

The Devil's Dictionary (1911)

Religion
Megan Mullally photo

“I am terrified of mayonnaise. It was so bad when I was little that my friends would chase me around the house with a jar of mayonnaise and a knife.”

Megan Mullally (1958) American actress

Attributed

Housing

“Behind her chair, from a wall covered in a very expensive velvet-flock paper, a portrait of her grandfather looked down. He had been an Episcopalian bishop, but the picture showed him in the costume of a New England gentleman keeping up the Old English custom of riding to hounds: red coat, brown boots, distinguished with a white dog-collar and black silk front.
Hugh referred to him as being dressed to kill.
The salad was replaced—though Hugh had sampled only a mouthful of his—by a dish of cold fish with mayonnaise. He didn’t even touch this course. He was suddenly afraid of it because it had come from the sea.”

John Brunner book The Sheep Look Up

February “DISGRACE”
The Sheep Look Up (1972)

Dogs, Fish, Sea
Karel Appel photo

“I'm able to paint so nice and thick with those big splodges that stay upright because I mix my own paint. I use the formula that the seventeenth-century painters used and I've added one or two things myself. A very important element is stand oil. I once got hold of a whole barrel full and I'm still using it. There are pots of it in all my studios, in New York, in Connecticut, in Monaco, and in Tuscany. [the oil had been found when an old paint shop closed down, in a] stock that had been there since the seventeenth century... I mix my oil paint with it, and I throw in a lot of eggs and some concentrated turpentine. It's as thick as homemade mayonnaise. When it dries it is as tough and hard as rubber.”

Karel Appel (1921–2006) Dutch painter, sculptor, and poet

Quote from an interview in 'Elsevier', 22 December, 1990; translated and quoted by Frank van der Ploeg, in 'The Low Countries'. Jaargang 12 (2004) http://www.dbnl.org/tekst/_low001200401_01/_low001200401_01_0027.php

Painting
Charlie Brooker photo

“It's a rum state of affairs when you feel like punching a jar of mayonnaise in the face.”

Charlie Brooker (1971) journalist, broadcaster and writer from England

Guardian columns

Feeling
John Hodgman photo

“And parents, some old fashioned kitchen wisdom for dealing with those lice: take your child and cover his hair with mayonnaise and shove him outside because he disgraced your house by bringing lice into it.”

John Hodgman book The Areas of My Expertise

September 13, 2006
The Areas of My Expertise (2005), Appearances on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart

Wisdom, Fashion, Parent, Housing
Lou Reed photo

“Life's like a mayonnaise soda
And life's like space without room
And life's like bacon and ice cream
That's what life's like without you”

Lou Reed (1942–2013) American musician

What&#x27;s Good Full lyrics online http://www.lyricsforall.com/display/lyric/7312/2147393643/Lou+Reed/What%27s+Good/ <br class="br">Lyrics

Life
Dave Barry photo

“Monica was glad Walter was married, so she didn’t have to go into any of the other reasons she didn’t want to get involved with him, such as the fact that he had the intellectual depth of mayonnaise.”

Dave Barry (1947) American writer

Source: Novels, Big Trouble (1999), Chapter 7

“I had jars in my bedroom, much to the chagrin of my mother, you couldn't throw away a mayonnaise jar in my house. That was a specimen jar.”

George H. Burgess (1949) American biologist

Source: No. 1 shark expert in Florida? George Burgess https://www.floridatoday.com/story/news/local/environment/sharks/2014/08/10/fla-shark-researcher-international-reputation/13881793/ (August 10, 2014)

Housing