“The dog ran into the kitchen, stuck his nose in Grandma's crotch, and snuffled.
Dang," Grandma said. "Guess my new perfume really works. I'm gonna have to try it out at the seniors meeting.”

“I want to kill Grandma? It’s not respectful to say someone wants to kill Grandma when I spent sixteen years of my life putting my life on the line to protect Grandma.”

“Grandma asked me to confirm if I had landed in Canada and not any other country. I just pointed my camera towards the different direction where grandma could see some Sardar roaming here and there. ‘Aa ta Kanedda hi lagda hai.’ (it is Canada, indeed) grandma said in joy. We all laughed like anything.”

“My spirit animal is a big baboon. When i think about it it really gives me the key adrenaline to push myself further and ask my grandma out”

“I'll not have my grandson subjected to the humiliation of his reading becoming public. We have to cope with this disgrace discreetly -- Grandma Ruth”

“That man is such a damn turd monkey."
"Grandma!" I said.
"Oh, Zoeybird, did I call your mother's husband a damn turd monkey out loud?"
"Yes, Grandma, you did."
She looked at me, her dark eyes sparkling. "Good.”

“It's a penis,' Grandma said. 'Stephanie got it in the mail. It's a pretty good one too.”

“Almost everybody I know has died,” Grandma said. “Bunch of wimps.”

“That man is such a damn turd monkey."
"Grandma!" I said.
"Oh, Zoeybird, did I just call your mother's husband a damn turd monkey out loud?"
"Yes, Grandma, you did."
She looked at me, her dark eyes sparkling. "Good.”

“There have been moments where I laughed at my own family's culture, though it's hard to separate out whether something funny is cultural, or just my grandma specifically.”