“Oh I don't plan on getting married. It's a legalized form of prostitution.”

“People always like to make up stories. I am not planning on getting married. Then again, I might wake up tomorrow and decide to get married!”

“Was this all part of your plan as my lawyer? I don't recall explosive escapes being part of the legal training."
"Well, I'm sure it wasn't part of Damon Taru's legal training.”

“I wonder why prostitution is illegal. Why should it be illegal to sell something that's perfectly legal to give away?”

“And some sad news… the first lesbian couple to legally get married in the state of Massachusetts has split up. They cited irreconcilable similarities.”

“Honey, I plan to marry you the moment the ink is dry on that death certificate.”

“If we hold the married man accountable for finances gone legally awry, then the married woman should be held accountable for children who go awry.”

“Because it has Societies for the prevention of physical cruelty to animals,and none with the object of preventing the moral cruelty practiced on human beings. Because it encourages, legally and tacitly, vice under every form, from the sale of whiskey down to forced prostitution and theft brought on by starvation wages...”

“I can't imagine what they're planning. But I can tell you two things. We won't like it, and it won't be legal.”

“Gay marriage should be legalized in america because gay men are the only men who want to be married.”