“even if vampires were stupid. Especially American vampires. They hung out in places Alaric himself would never have gone, especially if he were immortal. Such as high schools. And Walmart.”

Source: City of Bones

Source: I Am Legend (1954), Ch. 2
Context: They were strange, the facts about them: their staying inside by day, their avoidance of garlic, their death by stake, their reputed fear of crosses, their supposed dread of mirrors.
Take that last, now. According to legend, they were invisible in mirrors, but he knew that was untrue. As untrue as the belief that they transformed themselves into bats. That was a superstition that logic, plus observation had easily disposed of. ‘It was equally foolish to believe that they could transform themselves into wolves. Without a doubt there were vampire dogs; he had seen and heard them outside his house at night. But they were only dogs.

Source: Shadow's Claim

Simon, pg. 8
Variant: Well, when a mommy vampire and a daddy vampire love each other very much...
Source: The Mortal Instruments, City of Fallen Angels (2011)

Source: Monstrous Regiment

Source: Saving Raphael Santiago

Source: City of Fallen Angels

Source: City of Lost Souls