“I never answer my telephone unless it rings.”

— Brother Theodore

[Brother Theodore Complete Collection on Letterman, 1982-89, Don Giller, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kj5fVnHWUl4]

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Brother Theodore 15

German-American monologuist and comedian 1906–2001

Charles Williams (1886–1945) British poet, novelist, theologian, literary critic, and member of the Inklings

War in Heaven (1930), Ch. 1, first sentence

“Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.”

Ogden Nash (1902–1971) American poet

“Let freedom ring, unless it's on vibrate.”

Joss Whedon (1964) American director, writer, and producer for television and film

[21 October 2004, http://whedonesque.com/comments/5133, "More X-Men 3 rumors", Whedonesque.com, 2006-12-05]

“Why won't anyone ever answer my questions?"
"Because you never stop asking them and especially because you keep asking them even when it's clear that nobody knows the answers."
"Well, how do I know that they don't know the answer unless I ask?”

Orson Scott Card (1951) American science fiction novelist

Homecoming saga, The Memory Of Earth (1992)

“I have always wished for my computer to be as easy to use as my telephone; my wish has come true because I can no longer figure out how to use my telephone.”

Bjarne Stroustrup (1950) Danish computer scientist, creator of C++

On his homepage http://www.stroustrup.com/bs_faq.html#really-say-that, Bjarne Stroustrup states that he did say the above sentence, but also adds "I very much doubt that the sentiment is original." Bjarne Stroustrup's FAQ: Did you really say that?, 2007-11-15 http://www.stroustrup.com/bs_faq.html#really-say-that,