“No dates until you're thirty.”

“Be optimistic. Always put on clean underwear if you're going on a date.”

“Busy' is another word for 'asshole'. 'Asshole' is another word for the guy you're dating.”

“I'm Dylan. I'm so cool. I want to date myself, but I don't know how! You want to date me instead? You're so lucky!”

“If you're going to write a story, avoid contemporary references. They date a story and they have no staying power.”

“We're not dating," Alec said again.
"Oh?" Magnus said. "So you're just that friendly with everybody, is that it?”

“As long as you're rememberin' baby Jesus, does it matter when you're rememberin' 'im[Karl on how he hates Christmas being the same date each year]”

“So you interrupted my date to make fun of me for still living with my parents. Couldn't you have done that on a night I didn't have a date? That's most nights, in case you're curious.”

“I'm sorry about the dinner."
"Best date ever. Well, until people died and vampires showed up. But before that it was awesome.”

“Everyone has their first date and the object is to hide your flaws. And then you're in a relationship, and it's all about hiding your disappointment. And then, once you're married, it's about hiding your sins.”