“The only way I'll get you is to get you in bed.”

“If you weaken, I'll be strong. If you get lost, I'll be your way home. If you despair, I'll bring you joy. I will love you until the end of time.”

“Anything you need, you tell him and he'll get it for you. If he offends you in any way, let me know and I'll kill him when I get up.”

“Getting over what you did to me is not why I get out of bed anymore.”

“The only way for a women to get my attention is to be you”

“There's only one way to have a happy marriage and as soon as I learn what it is I'll get married again.”

“I'll promise to go easier on drinking and to get to bed earlier, but not for you, fifty thousand dollars, or two-hundred and fifty thousand dollars will I give up women. They're too much fun.”

“Fair means everyone gets what they need. And the only way to get what you need is to make it happen yourself.”

“You ought to be ironical the minute you get out of bed. You ought to wake up with your mouth full of pity.”

“Death has this much to be said for it:
You don't have to get out of bed for it.
Wherever you happen to be
They bring it to you—free.”