“Once, my wife would make me coffee. These days, she hardly puts the kettle on.”
Distance and other Measures (1994).
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Avner Strauss 19
Israeli musician 1954Related quotes
“Coffee. I could smell coffee. Coffee would make everything better.”
Source: Every Which Way But Dead
“My wife was afraid of the dark… then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light. ”
Dates to 1899, American humor origin, originally featuring a woman upset by a man's cigar smoking. Cigar often removed in later versions, coffee added in 1900. Incorrectly attributed in Consuelo Vanderbilt Balsan, Glitter and Gold (1952).
See various early citations and references to refutations at “If you were my husband, I’d poison your coffee” (Nancy Astor to Churchill?) http://www.barrypopik.com/index.php/new_york_city/entry/if_you_were_my_husband_id_poison_your_coffee_nancy_astor_to_churchill, Barry Popik, The Big Apple,' February 09, 2009
Early examples include 19 November 1899, Gazette-Telegraph (CO), "Tales of the Town," p. 7, and early attributions are to American humorists Marshall P. Wilder and De Wolf Hopper.
Churchill by Himself: The Definitive Collection of Quotations, by Richard Langworth, PublicAffairs, 2008, p. 578.
The Yale Book of Quotations, edited by Fred R. Shapiro, New Haven, CT, Yale University Press, 2006, p. 155.
George Thayer, The Washington Post (April 27, 1971), p. B6.
Misattributed
Variant: Lady Nancy Astor: Winston, if you were my husband, I'd put arsenic in your morning coffee.
Winston Churchill: Madam, if you were my wife, I'd drink it.
“When she emptied the kettle she always filled it for the benefit of the next person.”
Ch 11 - p.227
Novels, Midwinter Break (2017)
I'm a Stranger Here Myself (US), Notes From a Big Country (UK) (1998)