“He could probably make you a cloud sandwich if you asked. Or a blancmange made of numbers.”

“The sandwich he made was bologna and cheese, his favorite. All the sandwiches he made were his favorites; that was one of the advantages of being single.”

“You see the button with the picture of the guy with the tray, and you push it, AND HE ARRIVES WITH A SANDWICH! …And you think: "Yes! Yes! I control sandwich monkey! I live in magic land, magic land, magic land."”

“You fell in love with someone because of the tilt of his smile, or because he could make you laugh, or in this case, because he made you believe that you were the only one who could save him.”

“The little boy I watched throwing pebbles into the empty fountain […] You could tell that he had too much wisdom for his age. Probably he believed that he wasn't made for this world. I wanted to say to him: If not you, who?”

“Mort was already aware that love made you feel hot and cold and cruel and weak, but he hadn't realized that it could make you stupid.”

“If only Simon were here. He could probably bore you to sleep.”

“Here is some advice. If you want to keep your own teeth, make your own sandwiches ….”

“You might well ask just what the hell he was thinking. The answer is, probably nothing at all. He'd probably say he was exercising his God-given right to stupidity.”

“If you could make people with ten-point-higher IQs, we'd probably have fewer wars.”