“In 1919 I woke up famous. I'd never guessed it. If I'd known I was famous, I'd have stolen away and wept. I was stupid. I was supposed to be intelligent. I was sensitive and very dumb.”

“I guess I'll never measure up to anyone's expectations. I surely don't measure up to what I'd like to be.”

“sometimes i wish i'd been an englishman; american life is so damned dumb and stupid and healthy”

“Cause I never thought I'd lose.
I only thought I'd win.
I never dreamed I'd feel
This fire beneath my skin.
I can't believe you love me.
I never thought you'd come.
I guess I misjudged love
Between a father and his son.”

“I maybe made some mistakes, but I'm only human. But, I'm man enough to face 'em today. What I did was stupid, no doubt it was dumb. But, the smartest shit I did was take the bullets out of that gun. Because I'd have killed them. Shit, I'd have shot Kim and them both. It's my life, I'd like to welcome you all to 'The Eminem Show.'”

“.

"Most times, when I'm having sex, I'd rather be reading."
This was, I admit, a strange thing to say on a second date.
I guess I was just giving you a warning.
"Most times when I'm reading," you said, "I'd rather be having sex".”

“I thought you were dead.
Stupid. As if I'd die without taking you with me.”

“I guess we're oil and water. (Phoebe)

I'd say we're more like gasoline and a blowtorch. (Dan)”

“Sometimes I think I should just buy a blow-up party doll. Same level of intelligence, plastic, and full of air.

The problem is, I'd probably fall in love.”

“I won't eat anything that has intelligent life, but I'd gladly eat a network executive or a politician.”