“There's no such thing as advice to the lovelorn. If they took advice, they wouldn't be lovelorn. You see, advice and lovelorn don't go together. Because advice makes love sound like some sort of cognitive activity, but we know that it isn't. We all know that it's some sort of horrible chemical reaction over which we have absolutely no control. And that's why advice doesn't work.”

“Delivering advice assumes that our cognitive apparatus rather than our emotional machinery exerts some meaningful control over our actions.”

“People think they follow advice but they don't. Humans are only capable of receiving information. They create their own advice. If you seek to influence someone, don't waste time giving advice. You can change only what people know, not what they do.”

“Just because it makes no sense doesn't mean it's not good advice.”

“Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't…”

“I think, to be what you are, don't take advice from other people. Find your advice in your heart. Yes, find your advice in your heart. It's yours and you keep it. And if you think it's helpful to other people… then share it. I think the things we share are very important.”

“It is easy to consider advice when it is brought forth with care, and consideration, and gentleness. Sometimes people are offended or feel manipulated if you are so blustering, you see. And it's an opportunity to be kind — you know — usually if you're giving advice, it's because you care about people and you love them. So you ought to act that way.
…
If you find yourself to be a — sort of an abrasive type of person, perhaps you might try to be gentle, because the truth is that gentleness and kindness are a lot more powerful than we are led to believe. And if you are like this, and people are telling you it doesn't work, don't listen to them — do what you know is right.”

“Why should we take advice on sex from the pope? If he knows anything about it, he shouldn't!”

“Val: Why do you go out there?
Sandra: Because dead people give such good advice.
Val: What advice do they give?
Sandra: Just one word- live!”

“Here's some advice. Stay alive.”