“Ho! 'tis the time of salads.”

“Don Ho can sign autographs 3.4 times faster than Ephraim Zimbalist Jr.”

“I was on a plane, and the steward was coming down the aisle. "Asian chicken salad… Asian chicken salad… Asian chicken salad…" And he gets to me and he's like, "… chicken salad!" What does he think I'm gonna do? "Dis is not de salad of my people! In my homeland, dey use mandarin orange slices… and crispy wonton crunches!"”

“What do ties matter, Jeeves, at a time like this?'
There is no time, sir, at which ties do not matter”

“call it chicken salad”

“Vulgarity is the garlic in the salad of charm.”

“In ancient times all things were cheape
'Tis good to look before you leape
When come is ripe 'tis time to reape.”

“Letitia! What a name. Halfway between a salad and a sneeze.”

“Named after the great romaine emperor, Julius Salad.”

“Don't be a salad. Be the best goddamn broccoli you could ever be.”