“You go out for a walk and the world opens up for you. And before you’ve even stretched your legs properly, it closes shut. For here to there it’s all just the farty sputter of lantern. And they call that having lived. It’s not worth the bother of putting on your shoes.”

“A properly performed set of leg extensions immediately followed by a properly performed set of leg presses should leave you feeling like you just climbed a tall building with your car tied to your back.”

“It was funny how you could go somewhere and your whole life could stretch out and then you could come home and have it all shrink back to the way it was before. It was funny that it didn’t stay stretched.”

“I smoke. If this bothers anyone, I suggest you look around at the world in which we live and shut your fuckin' mouth.”

“You have to come to your closed doors before you’ll ever get to your open doors.”

“What's the point of living if you're going to hate the world? Guard your heart if you have to, but don't shut it away.”

“Walking away from an abusive relationship is a sign of strength. It shows the world that you know your worth and your rights and that you will not allow anyone to walk all over you.”

“Here," she said. "This is for you."
"I didn't really get you anything," I sputtered. "I mean, I didn't know that you were going to be here, and--"
"Don't worry. It's your embarrassment at not having the thought that counts.”

“Never give up. When your heart becomes tired, just walk with your legs - but move on.”

“On a live performance: "If you feel like tapping your feet, tap your feet. If you feel like clapping your hands, clap your hands. And if you feel like taking off your shoes, take off your shoes. We are here to have a ball. So we want you to leave your worldly troubles outside and come in here and swing."”