“Things have been invented because of alcohol. Like the taser, okay? Yeah! The morning after pill, okay? The reach-around. Judge Judy. What has pot given the world? Hackey sack? YEAH! Hilarious ring tones? OH GAH! Ultimate Frisbee Championships? It sucks to be a champion at a sport that can't get you laid. It's an unneeded skill like, I dunno, being the best banjo player. Or a squirter.”

“But, their lack of effort today has just astounded me. It really has; you could just get ten people sitting around just to work harder than a lot of these players have worked today. Oh, yeah.”

“When talking about what his Father was doing at the age of 23
I said to him last year, or the year before, ‘Yeah, well…something…something.’ You know, I’d done my degree and I was like ‘You know, well, I’ve got a degree…you know, I’m this age.’ and he, he, laughed and he was just like ‘What was I doing when I was 23?’ and I said, ‘Dunno’ and he was like, ‘What was I doing?…Oh yeah, Sgt. Pepper.’ and I was just instantly just like oh.”

“In sports, it is easier to win a championship than to remain a champion in subsequent seasons. And the same is true in life. Once you reach the top, it is more difficult to stay on top. Because, when you become the best in sports, and in life, everyone expects more from you and they want to take you down.”

“You can have the best skill in the world, but he has lots of will and that’s why he’s great. You look at the great young players around the league, including our players that we have here, and it’s their will. That’s what separates great players from medium players.”

“When life hands you a lemon, say "Oh yeah, I like lemons. What else you got?”

“You could be the Mega Mage of wizards. You could rule Minionfire.
Do you really think so?'
Yeah, but you'd have to make a deal with the wood elves.'
I don't like the wood elves.'
They're okay. They're misunderstood.”

“Since the moment I laid eyes on Jericho Barrons, I wanted him. I wanted him to do things to me that pink and clueless MacKayla Lane was shocked and appalled and… okay, yeah, well, utterly fascinated to find herself thinking about.”

“You're okay now… You're okay because I'll be holding you like this from now on.”

“The man watched him. Real life is pretty bad?

What do you think?

Well, I think we're still here. A lot of bad things have happened but we're still here.

Yeah.

You don't think that's so great.

It's okay.”