“Alright Duke,' said Old Sam, 'just for thee I'll oblige,
And to show thee I meant no offence',
So Sam picked it up, 'Gradely, lad' said the Duke,
'Right-o boys… let battle commence.”

— Stanley Holloway

"Old Sam Small" monologue http://monologues.co.uk/Sam_Small.htm
Sam, Sam, Pick Oop Tha' Musket

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Stanley Holloway 19

English stage and film actor, comedian, singer, poet and mo… 1890–1982

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“Sam, Sam, pick oop tha' musket'
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"Sam Small" was one of Stanley Holloway's compositions. The full text is at monologues.co.uk https://monologues.co.uk/search/search.pl?Terms=sam+small&submit.x=0&submit.y=0
Misattributed

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“Yeah, all right, but everyone knows they torture people," mumbled Sam.
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