“I needed two working handguns at the same time, as that was how I planned to commit suicide; with two simultaneous shots to the head.”

“To achieve great things, two things are needed: a plan and not quite enough time.”

“Don't commit suicide, because you might change your mind two weeks later.”

“I don't know how people who engage in that don't commit suicide”

“I admire only two types of people: the potentially mad and the potential suicide.”

“I would feel real trapped in this life if I didn't know I could commit suicide at any time.”

“Instead of committing suicide, people go to work.”

“I hear that you were on a date with Trouble Kelp. Are you two planning on building a bivouac any time soon?”

“There are in every man, at all times, two simultaneous tendencies, one toward God, the other toward Satan.”

“I hope the next time I move I get a real easy phone number, something that's real easy to remember. Something like two two two two two two two. I would say "Sweet." And then people would say "Mitch, how do I get a hold of you?" I'd say "Just press two for a while and when I answer, you will know you have pressed two enough."”