“You know, my Friends, with what a brave Carouse
I made a Second Marriage in my house;
Divorced old barren Reason from my Bed
And took the Daughter of the Vine to Spouse.”

“Bad divorce?" Hardy asked, his gaze falling to my hands. I realized I was clutching my purse in a death grip.

“No, the divorce was great,” I said. “It was the marriage that sucked.”

“It took me a long time to adjust and narrow down my life. I made my shift to the mind-set … there's time for my daughter outside work and that's all. This is my new life. This is not drudgery. This is fun.”

“Friends I have had both old and young,
And ale we drank and songs we sung:
Enough you know when this is said,
That, one and all, they died in bed.
In bed they died and I’ll not go
Where all my friends have perished so.”

“I gyve unto my wief my second best bed with the furniture”

“I decided that I might adopt that as my new position on gay marriage, that I'm not against gay marriage. I'm just against gay divorce. We should have a constitutional amendment prohibiting them from getting divorced. Because I think we need to protect the sanctity of divorce.”

“Fare you well, old house! you're naught that can feel or see,
But you seem like a human bein'—a dear old friend to me;
And we never will have a better home, if my opinion stands,
Until we commence a-keepin' house in the house not made with hands.”

“I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.”

“My unhealthy affection for my second daughter has waned. Now I despise all my seven children equally.”

“I went to bed feeling melancholy, wishing I could have
poured out all my fears and insecurities to my mom. Wasn’t
that what normal mothers and daughters did?”