“Getting some redecorating ideas?’ Nico asked. ‘Maybe you could do your dining room in mediaeval monk skulls.’
Hades arched an eyebrow. ‘I can never tell when you’re joking.”

“It’s amazing how clean your room can get when you have an assignment due. I considered the possibility of just telling a bunch of jokes and leaving the inspiring to my husband, because he’s very good at that. But, I’m not going to do that.”

“Percy scowled. "I-I know you."
Nico raised his eyebrows. "Do you?”

“When you asked me how I was doing, was that some kind of joke”

“This is your one chance. Tell me where the key is."
"Okay."
Serpine raised an eyebrow. "Really?"
"No, only joking. Do your worst.”

“The coach could do a goat-hoof tap dance around Nico’s head and the son of Hades wouldn’t even budge.”

“I am Nico Di Angelo, son of Hades. I control the shadows. They do not control me.”

“When you're a writer, the question people always ask you is, "Where do you get your ideas?" Writers hate this question. It's like asking Humphrey Bogart in The African Queen, "Where do you get your leeches?" You don't get ideas. Ideas get you.”

“Annabeth?” Percy said again. “You’re planning something. You’ve got thatlook.”
“I don’t have anlook.”
“Yeah, you totally do. Your eyebrows knit together and your lips press together and—”
“Do you have a pen?” she asked him.”

“In Edinburgh? I quite like the City Cafe. Because you never get served in there. And I like the idea that you can go in there for three hours and still not get your order. I think that’s quite funny. And then when you say ‘Can I have some food - I’m wasting away,’ they have the audacity to tut at you. When there’s only four of you in there. Fuckers. They should all be shot in the face. Sorry. I’m only joking. And I’m really tired.”