“We’ve all got weaknesses. Me, for instance. I’m tragically funny and good-looking.”

“He was wearing a look that she found odd and compelling - that amusement that didn’t seem to pass beyond the surface of his features, as he found everything in the world both infinitely funny and infinitely tragic all at the same time.”

“Ooh, look at me, I’m Dave, I’m writing a book! With all my thoughts in it. La la la!”

“I’ve always thought I’m a perfectionist – and that might not be the truth! – but you always look and see if there are any weaknesses.”

“The ratman froze, staring at me. "Why are you laughing?" His voice held just a hint of unease. Good.
I was hoping that the vampires would come for me soon and save me. You've got to admit that's funny.”

“If we humans are good at anything, it’s thinking we’ve got a terrific idea and going for it without acknowledging the potential consequences or our own ignorance.”

“Listen, son—most women are damn fools and children. But they’ve got more range than we’ve got. The brave ones are braver, the good ones are better—and the vile ones are viler.”

“There have been a good many funny things said and written about hardupishness, but the reality is not funny, for all that. It is not funny to have to haggle over pennies. It isn't funny to be thought mean and stingy. It isn't funny to be shabby and to be ashamed of your address. No, there is nothing at all funny in poverty — to the poor.”

“I got you to look after me, and you got me to look after you, and that's
why.”

“Is that it?”
“No. That’s a wall.”
“It could be disguised.”
“You’re not very good at looking for things, are you?”
“I’m good at looking for walls. Look, I found another one.”