“Clary and Simon continued to stare judgmentally. It made Simon very happy. Judging people together was an essential part of best friendship.”

“Simon-"From now on I will only adress people by nodding at them." Clary-"That's stupid why would you do that?" Simon-"Because it says that 'I am a badass, and I recognive that you too, are a badass”

“Is this the part where you say if I hurt her, you'll kill me?"
"No" Simon said, "If you hurt Clary she's quite capable of killing you herself. Possibly with a variety of weapons.”

“Simon became inarticulate in his effort to express mankind's essential illness.”

“I would have Simon Cowell sing 'Shiny Happy People' by R. E. M. just to show his true personality.”

“How had it happened, Simon thought, that he was bound to these people—to people who thought of him as nothing more than a Downworlder, half human at best?”

“Alec flopped down on the opposite side of the fire and glared at them both. "And where have Jace and Clary gone?"
"Ah," said Simon delicately. "Who can say…"
"Straight people," Alec declared. "Why can't they control themselves?”

“So you're trying to make her happy despite the fact that the reason she's unhappy in the first place is you," said Simon, not very kindly. "That seems contradictory, doesn't it?"
"Love is a contradiction," said Jace.”

“Have you been watching American Idol? They have Simon Cowell and Paula Abdul judging the singing. Paula Abdul?! Getting Paula Abdul to judge a singing contest is like getting Christopher Reeve to judge a dance contest!”

“I didn't know you were bringing the mundane." His blue eyes flicked uneasily over Simon.
"That's what I like about you people," said Simon. "You always make me feel so welcome.”