“A man would rather be trampled by elephants on fire than tell you he's just not that into you.”

“I’m not certain you’d know the right sort of man for you if he arrived on our doorstep riding an elephant.”
“I would think the elephant would be a fairly good indication that I ought to look elsewhere.”

“Why one man rather than another? It was odd. You find yourself involved with a fellow for life just because he was the one that you met when you were nineteen.”

“My friends!", cried the elephant.
"Tell me! Do tell!
Are you safe? Are you sound?
Are you whole? Are you well?”

“If you would tell me the heart of a man, tell me not what he reads, but what he rereads.”

“He ought to be lain bound hand and foot at the gates of Delhi, and then trampled on by an enormous elephant with the new Viceroy seated on its back.”

“I had to wait for someone special. Someone who would make my heart feel as if it's been trampled by elephants, thrown into the amazon, and eaten by piranhas.”

“Suicide is man's way of telling God, 'You can't fire me - I quit!”

“If it was easy, everyone would do it rather than going around telling you their ideas and saying how they could be a writer if they had the time.”

“But each man who worships you sees only what he wishes to see rather than any mystery you may actually embody.”