“I want someone to pinch me so I can feel something, anything. I'm sick of this numbness, of feeling so alone and outside of everything, but I know it's too dangerous to wake up."

—Ruth Mendenberg”

“Something inside me shuts down and I'm too numb to feel anything. It's like watching complete strangers in another Hunger Games. But I do notice they omit the part where I covered her in flowers.

Right. Because even that smacks of rebellion.”

“[Written on back of photograph of Ruth and Daniel]
"Ruth Levinson
Third grade teacher.
She believes in me and I can be anything I want when I grow up.
I can even change the world."”

“I can be hurt, you know. I can get as exhausted as anybody else. I can feel so bad I want to cry, too.”

“It's 2 o'clock in the morning and I just can't sleep
Outside the rain is pourin', I'm lonely as can be
Maybe 2night'll be different than the nights before
I need 2 feel someone beside me, I can't be alone no more”

“I feel as if I'm always on the verge of waking up.”

“More than anything, all I have ever wanted is to be close to someone. More than anything, all I have ever wanted is to feel as if I wasn't alone.”

“The words nearly break my heart, and I feel something crumble inside me. The truth is often a terrible thing, and I wish again that I were someone else. But it is too late now, too late to change anything. I am old and alone and I'm dying a little more with each passing hour. I'm tired, more tired than I've ever been.”

“It's because I'm alone.. If I could just feel it, it would be different, because I would not be alone. But if I were not alone, everybody would know it. And he could do so much for me, and then I would not be alone. Then I could be all right alone.”

“If you can say something that's funny or do something that's ridiculous, it'll make people laugh. So many people struggle with dark thoughts, depression, and internal pain. I'm not an expert on it, but I know that if I'm ever feeling down, if someone can make me laugh, it really is a cure to those thoughts.”