“I'd turn and run but I'm anchored by two dudes that could hold the Titanic during a tsunami.”

“And if I only could,
I'd make a deal with God,
And I'd get him to swap our places,
Be running up that road,
Be running up that hill,
Be running up that building.”

“By the way, you don't have to be sweaty and holding a basketball to enjoy a Gatorade. You could just be… A thirsty dude! Gatorade forgets about this demographic!”

“I was once offered a 3-way in Austin, and I turned it down because it was one of those deals where it was two dudes and…me. I don't even watch Two and a Half Men.”

“When I turned two I was really anxious, because I'd doubled my age in a year.
I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I'm six I'll be ninety.”

“You think it's okay that we're eating Rudolph?"
"Dude," Percy said, "I could eat Prancer and Blitzen, too. I'm HUNGRY.”

“Hamm: If I could sleep I might make love. I'd go into the woods. My eyes would see … the sky, the earth. I'd run, run, they wouldn't catch me.”

“I'd like to be able to go on holiday and not to have to hold my belly in for two whole weeks.”

“I guess that I'm just a plain wild dude.”

“It is likely that America will be more important during the next century or two, but after that it may well be the turn of China.”