“I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them have never happened.”

“When I look back on all these worries I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed that he had had a lot of trouble in his life, most of which had never happened.”

“I am an old man, I just happen to be an old man that can fight.”

“…between what did happen and what ought to happened, I dont never have trouble picking ought.”

“I have lots of ideas. Trouble is, most of them suck.”

“There were many terrible things in my life and most of them never happened.”

“Something happens to a man when he puts on a judicial robe, and I think it ought to. The change is very great and requires psychological change within a man to get into an attitude of deciding other people's controversies, instead of waging them. It really calls for quite a changed attitude. Some never make it - and I am not sure I have.”

“You do not know me,’ said Tortoise. ‘I am a changed man. I have learned that a man who makes trouble for others makes trouble for himself.”

“I am the poor man's poet; because I am poor myself and I have known what it is to be in love. Not being able to pay them in presents, I pay my mistresses in poetry.”
Pauperibus vates ego sum, quia pauper amavi; Cum dare non possem munera, verba dabam.

“I am the funniest woman that you've ever known.
I am the dullest woman that you've ever known.
I'm the most gorgeous woman that you've ever known and you've never met anyone
Who is as everything as I am sometimes.”