“If she wasn't your grandmother I'd shoot her."
Ranger”

“I tried to talk to Annabeth, but she was acting like I'd just punched her grandmother.”

“I kept looking [at wife Katie Holmes] and thinking, 'This woman's amazing.' I'm happy that I'm with her. She's amazing, and I'd think the same of her even if she wasn't with me -- she's just amazing.”

“Her problem wasn't she was a dumb blonde, it was she wasn't a blonde and she wasn't dumb.”

“She knew whose love she doubted. It wasn't her parents' and it wasn't her friends: It was her own.”

“Larry's grandmother has died at age 104
Larry: My grandmother just passed away, 104.
Flower store clerk: Ooh, 104? How'd she die?
Larry: How'd she die? She's 104! She wrecked her Harley up here at Bike Week. Here's your sign.”

“I'd spent a night with Ranger a while ago, and I knew what happened when he was encouraged. Ranger knew how to make a woman want him. Ranger was magic.”

“If I didn't know better, I'd think you were trying to get me drunk," I said to Ranger.
"Not drunk," Ranger said. "Just relaxed and naked.”

“If she wanted my money, I'd give her every cent. If she wanted another man, I'd make her forget him”

“Happiness is the twinkle in your grandmother's eye as you reverse the tractor off her legs.”