“You can't get a suit of armour and a rubber chicken just like that. You have to plan ahead.”

“When you put on a clown suit and a rubber nose, nobody has any idea what you look like inside.”

“I get fan mail almost every day, and lots of calls from people who say, "We’re having a party. Could you bring your rubber suit over and jump in the pool and scare everybody?."”

“You can't go around making plans that have you getting killed as a by-product. Eventually one of them is going to.”

“You can't plan for everything or you never get started in the first place.”

“You can't get a cup of tea large enough or a book long enough to suit me.”

“You can't really succeed with a novel anyway; they're too big. It's like city planning. You can't plan a perfect city because there's too much going on that you can't take into account. You can, however, write a perfect sentence now and then. I have.”

“When chickens get to live like chickens, they'll taste like chickens, too.”

“You can't know what it is like for us now--you will always be one step behind.

Be thankful for that.

You can't know what it was like for us then--you will always be one step ahead.

Be thankful for that, too.”

“You get first crack at the chicken balls if you get there early.”