“What’s so funny? (Astrid)
I’m just thinking, here I am a slave who touched a star who then made him a demigod. I have to be the luckiest bastard who ever lived. (Zarek)”

“Are you up? Dressing? (Astrid)
No. I’m pissing on your rug. What do you think I’m doing? (Zarek)
I’m blind. For all I know you really are peeing on my rug, which is a very nice rug incidentally, so I hope you’re kidding. (Astrid)”

“Would like to join me? (Astrid)
I think I’d look strange in a bikini. (Zarek)
Was that a joke? Can it be you made a real joke? (Astrid)
Yeah, I must be possessed or something. (Zarek)”

“I don't think you will ever fully understand how you've touched my life and made me who I am. I don't think you could ever know just how truly special you are that even on the darkest nights you are my brightest star”

“Princess, you could never be that. You are unique to me. (Zarek)
Am I your rose? (Astrid)
Yes, you are my rose. There is only one of you in all the millions of planets and stars. (Zarek)”

“Most days I wake up thinking I'm the luckiest bastard alive.”

“So one of the questions I think Jesus is going to ask us on judgment day is not have we lived a good life, and not just have we lived the Gospel, he's going to ask us "Who have you made a disciple of in My name?" So that becomes the question for me and for you, who am I discipling right now?”

“Stars aren’t supposed to cry. They’re supposed to laugh. (Zarek)
How can I laugh when I have no heart? (Astrid)
You have a heart. (He placed her hand over his.) One that only beats for you, princess. (Zarek)”

“You want me to say something? Okay. Sometimes I think I am what you made me. And sometimes I don’t know who I am at all. And either way I’m not happy.”

“I didn't think I would ever meet a noble who wasn't corrupt. Now that I have, I find that I prefer them when they're greedy bastards. (Brom to Eragon)”