“You suck, surprising no one!!!! If bad was a boot, you'd fit it!!!! You're a stupid poo-poo head! I had sexual relations with your mother! Your mother was not that good in bed! You, sir, are a wretched soul! I am rubber, you are glue!”

Source: 11/22/63

Captain Jack.
Song lyrics, Piano Man (1973)

Poem: Misadventures at Margate http://www.exclassics.com/ingold/inglegnd.txt

Source: Flyte

Source: Monty Python and the Holy Grail (Book): Mønti Pythøn Ik Den Hølie Gräilen

Letter to his son, Rutherford P. Hayes (26 February 1875)
Diary and Letters of Rutherford Birchard Hayes (1922 - 1926)

Statement to his son, as quoted in Familiar Quotations 9th Edition (1894) edited by J. Bartlett, p. 723 http://books.google.com/books?id=pus-AAAAYAAJ&pg=PA723
Originally quoted in Plutarch, Themistocles http://www.perseus.tufts.edu/hopper/text?doc=Perseus%3Atext%3A2008.01.0074%3Achapter%3D18%3Asection%3D5 (18.5): (5) Of his son, who lorded it over his mother, and through her over himself, he said, jestingly, that the boy was the most powerful of all the Hellenes; for the Hellenes were commanded by the Athenians, the Athenians by himself, himself by the boy's mother, and the mother by her boy. (Bernadotte Perrin, Ed., via Perseus Project)
Original Greek http://www.perseus.tufts.edu/hopper/text?doc=Perseus%3Atext%3A2008.01.0074%3Achapter%3D18%3Asection%3D5: "(5) ποῦ ἂν ἦτε νῦν ὑμεῖς;’ τὸν δὲ υἱὸν ἐντρυφῶντα τῇ μητρὶ καὶ δι᾽ ἐκείνην αὐτῷ σκώπτων ἔλεγε πλεῖστον τῶν Ἑλλήνων δύνασθαι: τοῖς μὲν γὰρ Ἕλλησιν ἐπιτάττειν Ἀθηναίους, Ἀθηναίοις δ᾽ αὐτόν, αὐτῷ δὲ τὴν ἐκείνου μητέρα, τῇ μητρὶ δ᾽ ἐκεῖνον."

Tongues and Tails (1992), Damn I Wish I Was Your Lover

Laura, Scene Two
The Glass Menagerie (1944)