“You wonder sometimes how our government puts on its pants in the morning.”

“Sometimes I wonder how normal normal people are, and I wonder that most in the grocery store.”

“Those prancing little pants-wetters come here to learn the colorful and gentlemanly art of fencing, with its many sportingand its proscriptions againstengagements. You on the other hand, you are going to learn how to.”

“Put on your big girl pants and deal.”

“People putting their clothes on backwards. Isn't that a sign of something going on wrong? Are you not paying attention? People with their hat on backwards, pants down around the crack. Isn't that a sign of something or are you waiting for Jesus to pull his pants up?”

“Chris is proof of how wonderful humans can be when they really put their minds to it.”

“How do most people live without any thought? There are many people in the world,--you must have noticed them in the street,--how do they live? How do they get strength to put on their clothes in the morning?”

“Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it.”

“I could not adopt him so I married him. You know how wonderful he is, like all Russians. He starts reciting verse at two o'clock in the morning.”

“I wonder how many men, hiding their youngness, rise as I do, Saturday mornings, filled with the hope that Bugs Bunny, Yosemite Sam and Daffy Duck will be there waiting as our one true always and forever salvation?”