“Wonderful. What's the point of throwing a hissy fit without friends and family on hand to hear it?"
-Amy Cahill”

“C'mon, Amy, cinnamon rolls are calling us." Dan put a hand to his ear. "Do you hear? 'Amy? Dan?'" he squeaked. "'Come and get my sugary, sticky goodness!”

“I could never kill myself. I approve of suicide if you have horrible health. Otherwise it's the ultimate hissy fit.”

“Hell, at this point, I can’t imagine my story without Amy. She is my forever antagonist. We are one long frightening climax.”

“Courage, mon ami, le diable est mort! / Take courage, my friend, the devil is dead!”

“Evolution throws a wonderful light on all the struggles, eccentricities, tortuous developments of the human conscience in the past. It is the only theory of morals that does. And evolution throws just as much light on the ethical and social struggle today; and it is the only theory that does. What a strange age ours is from the religious point of view! What a hopeless age from the philosopher's point of view! Yet it is a very good age, the best that ever was. No evolutionist is a pessimist.”

“Such craziness [in not believing in God] makes me want to throw up my hands in despair, and then wash them of anything to do with atheism. But I can't. Compassion won't let me. I thank God for the love and concern that He places in those who trust Him. Without it, I'm not sure I would even care about the salvation of anyone but myself and my immediate family and friends.”

“A friend tells you what you want to hear; a best friend tells you the truth.”

“When all of your friends are getting pregnant, you start thinking about it. But for Amy and I, show business is our baby.”

“No!" Amy said. "Dan, you're lucky it was only concussive. You could've wiped out the whole Holt family."

"And that would've been bad because…?”