“Why do dachshunds wear their ears inside out?”

“Why are people born? Why do they die? Why do they want to spend so much of the intervening time wearing digital watches?”

“why do male nudists wear towels to play tennis?”

“What do I wear in bed? Why, Chanel No. 5, of course”

“There are people who have too much space between their ears, and given the time, do nothing but free fall forever inside their head. It's a spooky thing to be left alone inside an angry innerverse.”

“Use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without.”

“Power wears out those who do not have it.”

“No matter how puny your frontal equipment, don't wear the kind with the giant pads inside. If a guy squeezes them, he will wonder why they feel like Nerf balls instead of boobs.”

“To wear your heart on your sleeve isn't a very good plan; you should wear it inside, where it functions best.”

“There are of course many problems connected with life, of which some of the most popular are Why are people born? Why do they die? Why do they want to spend so much of the intervening time wearing digital watches?”