“Did anybody tell you that you're a few french fries short of a Happy Meal?”

“He's one fry short of a Happy Meal.”

“What exactly is a french before it's fried?”

“There will be boys who will tell you you're beautiful, but only a few will see you.”

“I was ecstatic when they re-named "French fries" as "freedom fries." Grown men and women in positions of power in the U. S. government showing themselves as idiots.”

“You should've just gotten a kids' meal.' Adrian told me, pointing to my half-eaten burger and fries. 'You could've saved me a lot of money. And gotten a toy.”

“Could you look me in the eye? And tell me that you're happy now? Would you tell it to my face? Or have I been erased? Are you happy now?”

“I feel very happy that Bush is our president. One way that you can tell we have a good president, is by how much the French dislike him. The more the French hate him, the better he must be. And they hate this one.”

“If you have formed the habit of checking on every new diet that comes along, you will find that, mercifully, they all blur together, leaving you with only one definite piece of information: french-fried potatoes are out.”

“When you want the score
When you need a helping hand
And you find closed doors
And you're back where you began
Keeping those secrets
Telling those lies…
Can anybody tell me
What's the big surprise?”