“Facts are like kryptonite to teenagers.”

“The problem is that everybody treats teenagers like they're stupid.”

“I have a deep-seated respect for parrots. As gifted as I am with all other wildlife, parrots have this uncanny desire to kill me. I'm not sure why, but they're like my kryptonite!”

“If you liked being a teenager, there's something really wrong with you.”

“Like its politicians and its wars, society has the teenagers it deserves.”

“Directing teenage actors is like juggling jars of nitro-glycerine: exhilarating and dangerous.”

“I hate it when people say teenage love is overrated.. guys who are virgins until they are older think 'we must think it's like some romantic move or some teenage romance movie.' I don't think of it like that.”

“Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.”

“Strikingly, no concern was voiced over the glaringly obvious fact that no official reason was ever offered for going to war — no reason, that is, that could not be instantly refuted by a literate teenager.”

“Parents: If you encounter teenagers who say they liked this movie, do not let them date your children.”