“Harry Dresden: This is Waldo Butters, and his geek penis is longer and harder than all of ours put together.”

“Waldo Butters: Screw up my life?
[He stared a me for a second and then said, deadpan]
Waldo Butters: I’m a five-foot-three, thirty-seven-year-old, single, Jewish medical examiner who needs to pick up his lederhosen from the dry cleaners so that he can play in a one-man polka band at Oktoberfest tomorrow.
[He pushed up his glasses with his forefinger, folded his arms, and said]
Waldo Butters: Do your worst.”

“Fair stood the wind for France,
When we our sails advance,
Nor now to prove our chance,
Longer will tarry;
But putting to the main
At Kaux, the mouth of Seine,
With all his martial train,
Landed King Harry.”

“I saw that it was all over, put away in a box like a doll no longer cared for, the magical intimacy of our childhood together”

“Killing people is easier than it should be.” Dad put on his beret. “Staying alive is harder.”

“I cut my pubes last night. My hairs were getting longer than my penis.”

“The more a boy represses his feelings and puts armor around his heart, the harder it is to open our hearts to him.”

“If you put butter and salt on it, it tastes like salty butter.”

“[Harry, to Thelma, about Janet] "She never really figured out how the world is put together but she's still working at it."”

“Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.”