“I like to have a martini,
Two at the very most.
After three I’m under the table,
After four I’m under my host.”

—  Dorothy Parker

Variant of:<br>I wish I could drink like a lady.<br>“Two or three,” at the most.<br>But two, and I’m under the table—<br>And three, I&#x27;m under the host. <br class="br">The Harlequin, Volume 2, 1959, University of Virginia (page ? http://books.google.com/books?id=zdFKAAAAYAAJ&amp;q=%22under+the+table%22+%22under+the+host%22) <br class="br">Perhaps attributed due to “One more drink and I&#x27;d have been under the host.” (see above). <br class="br">“ Martini Madness: Dorothy Parker didn’t write the famous quatrain about martinis that’s always attributed to her. http://www.slate.com/articles/life/drink/features/2013/martini_madness_tournament/sweet_16/dorothy_parker_martini_poem_why_the_attribution_is_spurious.html”, Troy Patterson, Slate, April 8, 2013 <br class="br">Misattributed <br class="br">Variant: One martini. Two at the most. Three I&#x27;m under the table, four I&#x27;m under the host! <br class="br">Source: The Collected Dorothy Parker

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American poet, short story writer, critic and satirist 1893–1967

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