Daniel Handler cytaty strona 5

„(…) smutna prawda polega na tym, że kiedy komuś umrze bliska osoba, znajomi często zaczynają tego kogoś unikać, chociaż akurat w takich chwilach obecność przyjaciół jest najbardziej potrzebna.”

Przykry początek
Źródło: rozdział I, s. 7

„Na świecie jest bardzo, bardzo wiele rodzajów książek – i całkiem słusznie, gdyż na świecie żyje bardzo, bardzo wiele rodzajów ludzi i każdy lubi czytać coś innego.”

Przykry początek
Źródło: rozdział III, s. 40

„Bohaterem tej bajeczki jest mały męczydusza, który krzyczy: „Wilk! Wilk!”, chociaż wilka wcale nie ma w pobliżu, i za każdym razem łatwowierni wieśniacy pędzą mu na pomoc, aby przekonać się, że to był tylko żart. Ale raz chłopczyk krzyknął: „Wilk! Wilk!” wcale nie dla żartu tylko, że nikt mu już nie przybiegł na pomoc. Wilk zjadł dowcipnisia, i na tym, Bogu dzięki, bajeczka się kończy.
Morał z niej płynie oczywisty: „Nie osiedlaj się tam, gdzie wilki hasają na wolności” – chociaż ten, kto wam czytał tę bajeczkę, na pewno twierdził, że jej morał brzmi: nie kłam, bo pożałujesz.”

Przykry początek
Źródło: rozdział VII, s. 89

„Czasem wystarczy powiedzieć głośno, że się czegoś nienawidzi, i usłyszeć, że ktoś się z nami zgadza, aby poczuć się lepiej nawet w najgorszej sytuacji.”

Gabinet gadów
Źródło: rozdział X, s. 155, 156

„Śmierć kochanej osoby to dziwna rzecz. Wszyscy wiemy, że nasz czas na tym świecie jest ograniczony i w końcu każdy skończy pod tym czy owym białym prześcieradłem, żeby się więcej nie obudzić. A jednak, gdy spotyka to kogoś, kogo znamy, zawsze jesteśmy zaskoczeni.”

Przykry początek
Źródło: rozdział III, s. 38

Daniel Handler cytaty

„(…) z niefortunnymi zdarzeniami tak już w życiu bywa: sam fakt, że ich nie rozumiemy, nie znaczy, że nie mają miejsca.”

Gabinet gadów
Źródło: rozdział VII, s. 108

„Jedną z najgorszych rzeczy w życiu jest żałowanie. Coś się wydarza, ty robisz nie to, co trzeba, a potem latami żałujesz, że nie zrobiłeś czegoś całkiem innego. Na przykład ja, gdy spaceruję brzegiem morza albo odwiedzam grób przyjaciółki, zawsze myślę o tym dniu, dawno, dawno temu, gdy nie zabrałem latarki w miejsce, gdzie koniecznie trzeba było zabrać latarkę, i skutki tego były tragiczne. Dlaczego ja nie wziąłem latarki? – wyrzucam sobie, chociaż już nic nie można na to poradzić.”

Przykry początek
Źródło: rozdział XIII, s. 172

„Istnieje jednak pewien rodzaj książek, których prawie nikt nie lubi czytać, a są to książki prawnicze. Książki prawnicze słyną z tego, że są bardzo grube, bardzo nudne i bardzo trudne do zrozumienia. Dlatego właśnie prawnicy często zarabiają kupę pieniędzy. Taka kupa pieniędzy to znakomity bodziec – słowo „bodziec” oznacza tu: „spodziewana nagroda za zrobienie tego, czego nie chce się robić””

Trzeba było wziąć latarkę.
Gabinet gadów
Źródło: rozdział IV, s. 53, 54

„Jest rzeczą wielce użyteczną, aby za młodu nauczyć się różnicy między „dosłownie” a „w przenośni”. Jeżeli coś dzieje się dosłownie, to dzieje się naprawdę; jeżeli coś dzieje się w przenośni, to tylko zdaje nam się, że się dzieje. Jeśli, na przykład, dosłownie skaczesz z radości, to odbijasz się od ziemi, bo jesteś bardzo szczęśliwy. Jeżeli skaczesz z radości w przenośni, to znaczy, że jesteś tak bardzo szczęśliwy, że mógłbyś skakać z radości, ale nie robisz tego, oszczędzając energię na inne działania.”

do studiowania strasznie grubych, nudnych i trudnych ksiąg.
Przykry początek
Źródło: rozdział VII, s. 89, 90

„(…) gdy się człowiek porządnie i długo wypłacze, na ogół robi mu się lepiej, nawet jeśli okoliczności nie zmieniły się ani na jotę.”

Przykry początek
Źródło: rozdział V, s. 74

„To, co się stało, potrafi splamić nasz sentyment do miejsca, tak jak tusz plami białe płótno. Można potem prać i prać, ale i tak nie da się nigdy zapomnieć o tym, co zaszło – czyli „zdarzyło się i wszystkich zasmuciło.””

Przykry początek
Źródło: rozdział V, s. 63

“On the day you officially join the organization, you will hear a noise outside your home. It may sound like the howl of a wolf, the chirping of a cricket, the engine of an automobile, the keys of a typewriter, the striking of a match, or the turning of a page. The noise will come in the middle of the night, the middle of the morning, or, in very rare cases, late in the afternoon. Ask your parents what the noise was. If they reply 'nothing,' they are replying in code, because there is never 'nothing' outside one's home. If you are interested in volunteering, answer your parents with the following question: 'If there's nothing out there, what was that noise?' We will be listening, and will know it is safe to act.”

Gabinet gadów
Źródło: rozdział IX, s. 137, 138

Daniel Handler: Cytaty po angielsku

“Wedding after wedding after wedding and then yours - your wedding? Would that make you what they're now calling happy?”

Daniel Handler

V.F.D.
Lemony Snicket: The Unauthorized Autobiography (2002)

“The sad truth is that the truth is sad.”

Daniel Handler książka Adverbs

Adverbs (2006), Barely

“God, or somebody, what is it with terrible things? If you made this world why not a better one?”

Daniel Handler książka The Carnivorous Carnival

Lemony Snicket
The Carnivorous Carnival (2002)

“Like handshakes, house pets, or raw carrots, many things are preferable when not slippery. Unfortunately, in this miserable volume, I am afraid that Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire run into more than their fair share of slipperiness during their harrowing journey up -- and down -- a range of strange and distressing mountains.”

Daniel Handler książka Adverbs

Adverbs (2006), Barely

“South San Francisco The Industrial City is ugly as sin but somebody lives there: Allison, in fact.”

Daniel Handler książka The Slippery Slope

The Slippery Slope (2003)

“For Beatrice--When we were together I felt breathless. Now, you are.-Lemony Snicket”

Daniel Handler książka Adverbs

Adverbs (2006), Wrongly

“There are few sights sadder than a ruined book. -Lemony Snicket”

Daniel Handler książka The Vile Village

The Vile Village (2001)

“… the point is, why is there cruelty? Why do people ask other people to do impossible things? why behave this way? why is there mean, when there are better things than mean, love particularly?”

Daniel Handler książka The Wide Window

The Wide Window (2000)

“Of course, it is quite possible to be in the dark in the dark, but there are so many secrets in the world that it is likely that you are always in the dark about one thing or another, whether you are in the dark in the dark or in the dark not in the dark, although the sun can go down so quickly that you may be in the in the dark about being in the dark, only to look around and find yourself no longer in the dark about being in the dark, but in the dark in the dark nontheless, not only because of the dark, but because of the ballerinas in the dark, who are not in the dark about the dark, but also not in the dark about the locked cabinet, and you may be in the dark about the ballerinas digging up the locked cabinet in the dark, even though you are no longer in the dark about being in the dark, and so you are in fact in the dark about being in the dark, even though you are not in the dark about being in the dark, and so you may fall into the hole that the ballerinas have dug, which is dark, in the dark, and in the park.”

Daniel Handler książka Adverbs

Adverbs (2006), Particularly

“I find you interesting, Joe, so nearly everything you say will be interesting too. I love you. I could say I'm lonely but that's not the only reason.”

Daniel Handler książka The End

Źródło: The End (2006), Chapter 9

“Klaus: Maybe I don't know what "cakesniffer" means, but I think I can translate our new school's motto… If I'm not mistaken, "Memento Mori" means "Remember you will die."”

Daniel Handler książka Adverbs

Adverbs (2006), Collectively

“I’m sure you have heard it said that appearance does not matter so much, and that it is what's on the inside that counts. This is, of course, utter nonsense, because if it were true then people who were good on the inside would never have to comb their hair or take a bath, and the whole world would smell even worse than it already does. -Lemony Snicket”

Daniel Handler książka The Austere Academy

The Austere Academy (2000)

“"Instead of change, please give me gun so i can shoot you." She is soft-spoken but short and full of rage lately, like her whole life.”

Daniel Handler książka The Miserable Mill

The Miserable Mill (2000)

“As the aphorism says, If you have to ask, you can't afford it.”

Daniel Handler książka Adverbs

Adverbs (2006), Often

“Although "jumping to conclusions" is an expression, rather than an activity, it is as dangerous as jumping off a cliff, jumping in front of a moving train, and jumping for joy. If you jump off a cliff, you have a very good chance of experiencing a painful landing unless there is something below you to cushion your fall, such as a body of water or an immense pile of tissue paper. If you jump in front of a moving train, you have a very good chance of experiencing a painful voyage unless you are wearing some sort of train-proof suit. And if you jump for joy, you have a very good chance of experiencing a painful bump on the head, unless you make sure you are standing someplace with very high ceilings, which joyous people rarely do. Clearly, the solution to anything involving jumping is either to make sure you are jumping to a safe place, or not to jump at all.”

Daniel Handler

Veritable French Diner
Lemony Snicket: The Unauthorized Autobiography (2002)

“Shyness is a very curious thing, because, like quicksand, it can strike people are any time, and also, like quicksand, it usually makes its victims look down.”

Daniel Handler książka The Vile Village

Lemony Snicket
The Vile Village (2001)

“What he'd just said was "Who cares?" and nobody wants to hear that.”

Daniel Handler książka The Austere Academy

The Austere Academy (2000)

“In order to spare you any further repulsion, it would be best not to mention any of the unpleasant details of this story, particularly a secret message, a toboggan, a deceitful trap, a swarm of snow gnats, a scheming villain, a troupe of organized youngsters, a covered casserole dish, and a surprising survivor of a terrible fire.”

Daniel Handler książka Adverbs

Adverbs (2006), Wrongly

“It was a bad day for love.”

Daniel Handler książka The Slippery Slope

The Slippery Slope (2003)

“To tell you the truth, I sometimes find it a bit tiresome," Fiona said….”

Daniel Handler książka Adverbs

Adverbs (2006), Frigidly

“All four of them have completely abandoned one another.”

Daniel Handler książka The Grim Grotto

The Grim Grotto (2004)

“The world gets grimy and the love object is in stark relief from its surroundings. This is love, a pretty thing on an ugly street and why wouldn't you pick it up if it appeared in a taxi cab.”

Daniel Handler książka Adverbs

Adverbs (2006), Clearly

“Lemony Snicket: (narrating) Reading poetry, even if you are only reading to find a secret message within its words, can often give one a feeling of power, the way you can feel powerful if you are the only one who brought an umbrella on a rainy day, or the only one who knows how to untie knots when you're taken hostage.”

Daniel Handler książka Adverbs

Adverbs (2006), Immediately

“Violet: You are being unbearable, with a U!
Klaus: And YOU are being stupid, with an S!
Sunny: Aget! (meaning "Please stop fighting!")”

Daniel Handler książka The Grim Grotto

The Grim Grotto (2004)

“If i were a little braver i would have asked her something like, "Do you think Kickass: the movie is a comedy in the traditional, classical sense?" and we could have that conversation and it would lead to other conversations during the flat and lonely times.”

Daniel Handler książka The Wide Window

The Wide Window (2000)

“"When I was crazy." the radio explained, "I thought you were great."”

Daniel Handler książka Adverbs

Adverbs (2006), Obviously

“At this point in the dreadful story I am writing, I must interrupt for a moment and describe something that happened to a good friend of mine named Mr. Sirin. Mr. Sirin was a lepidoptrerist, a word which usually means "a person who studies butterflies." In this case, however, the word "lepidopterist" means "a man who was being pursued by angry government officials," and on the night I am telling you about they were right on his heels. Mr. Sirin looked back to see how close they were--four officers in their bright-pink uniforms, with small flashlights in their left hands and large nets in their right--and realized that in a moment they would catch up, and arrest him and his six favorite butterflies, which were frantically flapping alongside him. Mr. Sirin did not care much if he was captured--he had been in prison four and a half times over the course of his long and complicated life--but he cared very much about the butterflies. He realized that these six delicate insects would undoubtedly perish in bug prison, where poisonous spiders, stinging bees, and other criminals would rip them to shreds. So, as the secret police closed in, Mr. Sirin opened his mouth as wide as he could and swallowed all six butterflies whole, quickly placing them in the dark but safe confines of his empty stomach. It was not a pleasant feeling to have these six insects living inside him, but Mr. Sirin kept them there for three years, eating only the lightest foods served in prison so as not to crush the insects with a clump of broccoli or a baked potato. When his prison sentence was over, Mr. Sirin burped up the grateful butterflies and resumed his lepidoptery work in a community that was much more friendly to scientists and their specimens.”

Daniel Handler książka Adverbs

Adverbs (2006), Wrongly

“I'm full of hard times today”

Daniel Handler książka The Hostile Hospital

Lemony Snicket
The Hostile Hospital (2001)

“Get out of my way, you cakesniffers! -Carmelita Spats”

Daniel Handler książka Adverbs

Adverbs (2006), Soundly