“I have a paper cut from writing my suicide note. [sighs] It's a start…”
Steven Wright (1955) American actor and author
When the Leaves Blow Away (2006), I Still Have a Pony (2007)
Source: 1960s, Jours effeuillés: Poèmes, essaies, souvenirs (1966), p. 431
“I have a paper cut from writing my suicide note. [sighs] It's a start…”
Steven Wright (1955) American actor and author
When the Leaves Blow Away (2006), I Still Have a Pony (2007)
Conor Oberst (1980) American musician
Lifted or The Story Is in the Soil, Keep Your Ear to the Ground (2002)
Charles Stuart Calverley (1831–1884) British poet
Disaster; reported in Bartlett's Familiar Quotations, 10th ed. (1919). Compare:
Oh, ever thus, from childhood’s hour,
I ’ve seen my fondest hopes decay;
I never loved a tree or flower
But ’t was the first to fade away.
- Thomas Moore, The Fire Worshippers, p. 26.
“I have a vest. If I had my arms cut off, it would be a jacket.”
Mitch Hedberg (1968–2005) American stand-up comedian
Do You Believe in Gosh?
“Standards are paper. I use paper to wipe my butt every day. That's how much that paper is worth.”
Linus Torvalds (1969) Finnish-American software engineer and hacker
Discussing a "fix" in the memcpy() that broke flash, 2010-11-30, Bugzilla, Red Hat, Torvalds, Linus https://bugzilla.redhat.com/show_bug.cgi?id=638477#c129, <br class="br">2010s, 2010
“I would give you my soul in a blackberry pie; and a knife to cut it with.”
Dorothy Dunnett (1923–2001) British writer
Source: The Disorderly Knights